


Over the Moon

by gaymatcha



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Awkwardness, Character Death, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Hopefully not too much, Love, Original Character(s), PTSD, Romance, Slow Burn, So much angst, Swearing, War, kinda sad but will have happy ending, not sam tho dont worry, nothing too intense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2020-03-14 15:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 28,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18950665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaymatcha/pseuds/gaymatcha
Summary: Escaping the city life and war propaganda, Zalia Evans flees to Stardew Valley in an attempt to find freedom within herself. Shy and reserved, she receives support from Pelican Town's most upbeat, outgoing resident, Sam, who is determined to break Zalia out of her shell. Under his wing, Zalia learns to breathe deeper and let the light in while Sam learns how to empathize and cope. A romance is struck, filled with light and comfort, but it isn't until a rift in Pelican Town when Sam and Zalia form a bond that is indescribable.





	1. Frozen Pizza

The steadfast sound of rain beating down on the old cabin woke me up instantly. It pinged against the tin roof and trickled down my windows, alerting my senses. I checked the time and pulled myself up, surveying the room. It was empty, aside from fireplace and a chest I had built a week prior. Despite being here for two weeks, waking up in the creaky bed felt unfamiliar and odd. The house I found myself living in was empty and cold, filled with cobwebs. Regardless, I was grateful to be here. I liked the isolation from the outside world. I liked that the old radio next to the bed didn’t work and the TV only played two channels, none of which were the news. I liked being a brief walk away from town. I felt free of the heaviness of the city that I once lived in. So much, in fact, I didn’t really bother to mingle with the townspeople. It wasn’t that I didn’t like them - in fact, I was more than satisfied when meeting the ginger-haired carpenter, feeling warmed immediately by her presence as she inspected the pipes in my new home. Seeing her friendly smile, along with Mayor Lewis’s long embrace was exactly what I needed when coming here. I just wasn’t sure if I was ready to start my new life.

  
Starting over was always something I longed for, but once I had actually gotten on that bus, clutching my ticket, lips pressed in a thin smile as I passed the bus driver and sat in an empty seat, I felt my stomach twist in a knot, eyes welling up in tears.  
But it was too late. I was here. Standing in the kitchen with a cup of instant coffee, watching as the rain watered my array of parsnips and tulips. I silently thanked Yoba for doing my morning chores for me. Hopefully, that’ll leave more time to head to the library and read for a few hours.  
I got dressed and dug through my suitcases for my umbrella. I had barely begun to unpack, as the first few days I was anxious to clear the land of debris. It had been unkept for over six years. My grandfather had finally decided to move in with my family and look after my sister and me after my mother signed up for war. It took days for me to clear up a small space to plant the cheapest seeds I could find on the bottom shelf of the town’s JojaMart.

  
Fishing out my umbrella, I grabbed my keys and propped open the front door. To my surprise, a small woman was walking up the trail, eyeing the land. Her hair was in a long braid, cascading over her shoulder. She wore a pink shirt and jeans, holding a small container in one hand and a purple umbrella in the other.

  
“Um, hello,” I said, closing and locking my door, slowly approaching her. I didn’t recognize her. She must’ve moved here after my grandfather left.  
“Hi there,” She smiled at me, equally shy. She walked over to the porch and held out the container. “My family and I made you some cookies to welcome you to Pelican Town. They are chocolate chip oatmeal.”

  
I took the container and opened it. Sure enough, they looked really good. They were still warm.

  
“Thank you so much. I really appreciate this.” I said, closing the container and slipping it in my backpack.

“Oh! I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Jodi. I live next door to Haley and Emily.” She said. I stared at her blankly. I also have no idea who those people were. She must’ve suspected as such, as she added “It’s down by the river, the blue house on Willow Lane. It’s me and my two sons, Vincent and Sam. They were going to come to introduce themselves but Vincent has school and Sam is working.”

  
“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Zalia.” I smiled again, feeling awkward as we both stood under my porch.

  
We both stood there for a few seconds, Jodi looking around and me fiddling with my sleeves.

  
“Do you...want to come in?” I offer. The house was a mess and I don’t have anything but instant coffee and bread, but I suppose she would understand.

  
“Oh, I shouldn’t. I have so much to do today. I just wanted to come say hello and let you know you can stop by anytime. Maybe Sam can show you around town. He is your age, you know.” She let that last comment slip out slyly, making me fidget uncomfortably. I laughed and stifled out a “thank you”.

  
After she left, I went back in my house, stuffing a couple of cookies in my mouth. I was so hungry. I had a little bit of money saved up but spent it on seeds and new tools from Clint. I was hoping that I could make jam quickly so I could have jam and toast for a few meals, but unfortunately, I managed to mess up making jam. Having no prior experience in farming, I found myself messing up on the simplest tasks. Going to the library and reading a few farming books should help me get back on the right track so I wouldn’t go hungry. I put the cookies away and walked to town.

  
It was empty as I walked to the library. I guess no one here was a fan of the rain. I could see why. The rain in the valley was loud and heavy compared to the occasional drizzles in Zuzu City. Despite using my umbrella, I was still soaked as I entered the town’s library.  
There weren’t many people in there other than a small group in the corner. Two children accompanied by a woman, all stared me down as I put my umbrella up and walked in slowly.

  
“Who is that?” A young boy asked, pulling on the woman’s sleeve.

  
“Must be the new farmer.” The woman said. She looked at me and smiled before looking at the boy. “Now get back to work, Vincent. You still have to do these four math problems before your lunch break.”

  
Vincent. Must be Jodi’s son. He did look a lot like his mother. I waved at the group before walking straight to the non-fiction section, skimming the shelves and diving into a farming book.

 

It was nearly 4 when I finally decided to go. I needed to stop by JojaMart anyways since I had given up on my jam. A few frozen pizzas should last me for the season. I exited the library and headed North. I felt guilty going there rather than Pierre’s, but I didn’t have much money and I hadn’t even met Pierre or his family yet. The sliding doors of Joja opened and the chilliness of the AC raised goosebumps on my skin. I headed straight for the frozen food section, looking at the prices and doing the math in my head.

  
“Behind you.” A man spoke, making me jump. I backed up into the shelf and turned around. He stood in front of me, hands filled with Joja brand frozen pizzas. I could barely see his face, just blonde streaks of hair standing up. I immediately opened the freezer door, letting him put the pizza boxes on the shelves. As he slides the boxes in, I managed to take a good look at the man. He had blue eyes, the color of the sky, dark eyebrows, and bright pink lips. He was tall and built, sporting a baby blue JojaMart polo and jeans.  
I was immediately taken, to say the least.

  
“Thanks!” He said, closing the freezer door. He took a long look at me, trying to see if he knew me. I nervously tucked my hair behind my ear and stepped back.

  
“You must be the new farmer!” He smiled. He grabbed my hand and shook it energetically. “My name is Sam. I work here, but I also do other things. You are the new farmer right?”

  
I was taken aback by his outgoing spirit. He was smiling and still shaking my hand wildly as I watched him silently. I mustered a smile and spoke up.  
“Yes. Yes, that’s me. Zalia.” I said. I mentally cursed myself for being so awkward. It had been a while since I talked to someone my own age. Everyone at my old job was older, with bags under their eyes and stale coffee breath.

  
“Zalia? That’s such a cool name.”

  
I smiled and reached for three boxes of frozen pizza. As I was about to tell him goodbye, he spoke up.

  
“Are you having a party or something?” He asked. I looked at him, confused. What is he talking about?

  
“Um...not that I am aware of,” I said, plopping them into my shopping cart.

  
“Why all the pizza?”

  
My face turned red with embarrassment. How am I supposed to tell this man that I couldn’t afford to cook myself meals yet? I quickly debated my options before he spoke up again.

  
“Either you’re throwing a party or you love pizza. A woman after my own heart.” He laughed. I noticed his smile beam from ear to ear, his eyes closed and hair bouncing. It was contagious. His joke made me blush, but I still found myself laughing along with him. Suddenly, I heard a cough behind us. We both turned to see a man with a thick mustache staring daggers into Sam. Sam turns to me sheepishly.

  
“That’s my boss. He wants me to get back to work. But hey, it was good meeting you. Hope you enjoy the pizza.” He winks before walking down the aisle. Flustered, I rush to the register and check out, dashing out as quickly as possible.

  
Once I was home, I shut the door and tossed a pizza in the oven. I watched the cheese bubble and the vegetables shrink, attempting to distract myself from thinking of the pizza-loving, blue-eyed JojaMart worker.

  
I hoped I would see him again very soon.


	2. Flower Dance

I slipped on the most floral dress I could find - a cream-colored cami dress adorned with pink and yellow flower patterns. My hair was braided into a crown, with a wildflower I found behind the cabin tucked behind my ear. Today was the day of the Flower Dance and would be the first Pelican Town event I would be at, so I found myself dressing up as sophisticated as it could. Ready for my introduction to the town. My “debut” as Sam described it. 

I found myself going to JojaMart to purchase small things, such as one or two seed packets or a jar of peanut butter in order to find ways to talk to Sam. His enthusiasm about the smallest things filled me up inside with a warm feeling. It wasn’t just the fact that he was attractive - and Yoba knows that he definitely is. He was kind and helpful, always telling me the best places to fish or the best shells to find on the beach. He suggested I go to the Flower Dance after I had skipped out on the Egg Hunt so I could go mining. I reluctantly had agreed after Sam described the food that Gus, the town’s bar owner and chef, had been prepping for weeks.

So here I was, tiptoeing through my farm in my slip on’s, trying not to dirty them with mud. The farm had been looking better than ever. The debris had been cleaned up, trees removed, wildflowers budding. I felt proud of the work I had done over the past month but began to wish I lived closer to the town so others could see my work as well. Maybe someday, I thought. I walked down the trail into the forest to see Sam’s signature blonde quiff, accompanied by Jodi and Vincent. Vincent ran ahead, joining a girl around his age in watching the creek. As I drew closer, I noticed many people were already there, sitting on tables filled with food and digging in. I recognized some of the older folk such as Pam and Evelyn from my childhood trips to the farm. I hoped they remembered me too.

Mayor Lewis looked up from his plate and made eye contact with me, smiling and standing up.

“Zalia! You’re here!” He said, shaking my hand. “We didn’t see you at the egg hunt the other week and worried that farm of yours swallowed you whole!” 

Laughter arose from the table. Zalia looked and saw many of the middle-aged townspeople sitting together, eyeing me.  
“Everyone, if you haven’t met her already, this is Zalia Evans. She is Harrison Evans’ granddaughter taking over Blue Moon Farm.” Lewis said, patting my shoulder. Everyone went around and muttered an introduction. There were more people in Pelican Town than I remembered. 

I grabbed a plate of food and wine and immediately looked for Sam. I found him in a corner table with a purple haired girl. I walked over and sat with them. Sam flashes his signature smile and waves at me.

“Zalia! I’m glad you are here.” He beamed. “Have you met Abigail?”

Abigail grinned and reached her hand out. I shook it. Why does everyone shake hands here? She had purple hair that cascaded from her shoulders, sporting a big white flower on the left side of her head. I noticed she was also very attractive.

“Sam has mentioned you a few times. Glad I can put a face to the name.” She said. I faintly remember Sam telling me about his two friends, Sebastian and Abigail. Dumbfounded by her beauty, I stuttered a quick response and took a sip of wine. It was sweet and cherry flavored. I took another sip.

We dove into conversation on the history of the Flower Dance, Abigail and I sipping on the wine while Sam drank water. I was surprised at how easy it was for me to socialize with new people. Maybe it was the wine. Or maybe it was Sam’s presence. Either way, I found myself bonding with the two until Mayor Lewis tapped on a microphone and began speaking.

“Participants in the Flower Dance, please find your partners and head to the center in the next five minutes.”

Sam and Abigail rose from their seats.

“Are you guys partners?” I asked, feeling a hint of jealousy. 

Abigail wrinkled her nose and playfully punched Sam. “No way. Sam has two left feet.” She snorted. Sam rolled his eyes and looked at me.

“No. Abby dances with Sebastian, that guy by the river smoking.” He said. I turned and looked over. Sebastian was putting out his cigarette and dusting his pants, about to head over. I looked at Sam again, noticing him standing over me. I felt my heart race. What if he asks me? I don’t know how to dance. I haven’t danced since high school, which was years ag-

“Hi, Sam. Are you ready?” A soft voice said behind me. I turned and saw the young woman I met at the library weeks ago. She gave me a small smile and grabbed Sam’s arm. My heart sank a little. Of course, he already has a partner.

“Yeah! Penny, this is Zalia. Zalia, this is Penny, my friend, and dance partner.” He said. Penny smiled and waved at me. “I’ll be back! Enjoy the show.” Sam winked. With that, he walked over to the center with the other young townspeople. I downed my third glass of wine and poured another as the music started.

The dance was graceful. All of the villagers seemed well practiced as if they had been doing this for years, Abigail giggled as Sebastian twirled her around while Sam held onto the small of Penny’s back gently. They all seemed to know each other well. I felt insecure and small. I hoped I was able to make a good impression on Sam and Abigail, as I was getting tired of reading books every night alone.

Once the dance was over, light pop music began to play. Half of the town went to the dance floor while the other half began to clean up the food. I sipped on another glass of wine and watched a blue hair girl dancing wildly by herself. She seemed to have as much wine as I did, maybe more. 

“How did I do?” Sam asked. I turned around and saw Sam and Penny beside me, holding onto their drinks. They stood pretty close to one another. 

“Amazing. Spectacular.” I blurted out. Sam eyed the wine glass and distant expression, about to make a comment. He then closed his mouth.  
“Abigail always says Sam is a horrible dancer, but I don’t think he is that bad.” Penny chuckled, patting Sam’s shoulder. We all laugh. She then excuses herself and walks over to Pam, who is sitting on a chair dozing off. 

“Penny is really sweet. I bet you guys would get along.” Sam suggests. I nod and finish off my wine.

“Do you want me to walk you home? Seems like this thing is winding down.” He asks. I stare at him, unable to think of a response. I wasn’t drunk, but I definitely wasn’t sober. I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of my new friend.

“I’m- I think I am good.” I said. I put the wine glass down and began to walk away. He grabbed my shoulder gently. I gazed over to him. His eyes were soft. Expression worried. 

“I think I’m gonna walk you home. I’m heading that way anyways. Sebastian and I are going to play a new video game today.” He said. He caught up with me and walked. I didn’t say anything just focused on the trail ahead of me as we left the festival. The music and the sounds of lively conversation faded slowly into wind whistling through grass and trees. It was calming. His presence was calming.

“The war...the war is crazy, huh?” I mumbled. I didn’t even realize what I had said until I said it. Sam stopped walking and his face tensed up.

“What?” He asked. I felt the tension immediately rise. My cheeks turned pinker and I looked away. 

“I hate war.” I stated. He began walking again, resting his muscles.

“Yeah. Me too.” He said. 

We said nothing for a few moments. I could see the farm from a distance. The sun was setting, making my farm appear golden and radiant. The wooden cabin surrounded by flowers. A dated Blue Moon Farm sign by the garden. The tulips I had planted were almost ready, about to bloom. Tomorrow, I had to decide if I should sell to Pierre or just put it in the shipping bin. Distracted by my thoughts, I almost didn’t hear Sam speaking again.

“My dad is in the Ferngill Republic army,” He said with a slight shakiness. “He has been gone for a year now.”

“My mom d- decided to join war too.” I said. I almost told him about what happened to my mother. The day we got the phone call. The way my dad completely shut down. The intimate funeral we had with my grandfather, dad, and sister. How we didn’t even get her ashes, we just buried some memorabilia we found around the house. I figured he didn’t need to hear that right now.

“I’m glad you know what it’s like, too.” He said. We stopped walking. I looked up and saw we had reached my cabin. 

“Well. I am glad we are friends.” I said slyly. I patted his shoulder. “Thank you for walking me home.”

“No problem, Zalia. Drink water!” He teased. I laughed and walked up the steps. He headed towards Robin’s house, not turning back. I walked into my house and immediately crashed on my bed, kicking off my shoes and closing my eyes. 

My feelings were all over the place, but I knew one thing for sure: cherry wine is good as fuck.


	3. Lewis and Marnie

The water was cool. It tickled my toes as I swirled the water around me. Abigail stood beside me, cupping the water with her hands and rinsing her pale legs. The sun beat down on the valley heavily, not a cloud in the sky. Abigail and I sat together on the edge of the river, huddled under a large oak tree. We had a picnic set out that was quickly eaten. I had finally figured out how to make salmonberry jam and it was delicious. Abigail’s mom is also skilled in the art of bread making, which made our lunch appetizing, to say the least. 

“I’m glad you agreed to come out here with me. I feel like you have been too invested in your farm work lately.” Abigail said. I nodded, saying nothing.

After the night of the Flower Dance, I realized that I accidentally trudged up old memories of my mother while talking to Sam. It hurt, to say the least. The next day was spent laying in bed, thinking about my mother and the last time I saw her. Her warm smile, gently squeezing my hand as a bright yellow cab pulled up behind us. A soft kiss on the cheek and the next thing I knew, she was gone forever. Well, gone forever to me. That was the last time I saw her before she died eight months later.

Abigail had reached out to me a week after the dance, asking if I wanted to go swimming with her. I accepted, wanting to have more friends in Pelican Town. I hoped that Sam would be there, but when she arrived at the farmhouse with a picnic basket solo, I didn’t mind as much as I thought I would. Again, she was very cute.

“Ready to swim?” She asked, breaking the brief silence. She tied her fluffy, purple hair into a ponytail and jumped off the edge of the grass, splashing into the river. The water was shallow enough that she could stand, but full enough where it covered her chest. She grinned and swam across, motioning for me to come in. 

I slowly dipped myself in, shivering slightly. The view of the growing oak trees and summer wildflowers really encapsulated what summer is supposed to be. In Zuzu City, it was always so hot - everyone would stay indoors with their air conditioning. 

“This was a good idea.” I declared, swimming on my back. I closed my eyes and soaked in the sun. I tried to keep my mind occupied on other things, such as the success of my coffee bean plants and my new chickens, but a small part of my mind couldn’t stop thinking about my mother. My heart felt heavy. I was suddenly distracted by a splash of water in my face and a soft giggled. I opened my eyes, smiled, and splashed back, starting a war with Abigail.

 

Later that night I found myself sitting in a booth with Sam, Sebastian, and Abigail at the Stardrop Saloon. We shared a plate of fries, gossiping about romances in Pelican Town.

“You’re lying!” Abigail exclaimed, throwing a fry at Sam.

“I’m serious. I really am. I saw him walking towards Marnie’s last week!” Sam said. I giggled, taking a sip of my soda. 

“I gotta say, Sam, that doesn’t seem very likely.” Sebastian said. Sam whined and punched Sebastian’s shoulder.

“So. New Farmer Zalia,” Abigail smirked, taking a sip of her beer. “Is there anyone who has caught your eye here?”

My eyes widen, causing the table to laugh. I took a long sip of my drink and looked down.

I wasn’t sure if I had feelings. I did think some townspeople were cute. My heart felt especially warm around Sam, but I wasn’t sure if I was looking to date anyone in the first place. Especially in a town this small. At least, I think.

“Alright, let’s not scare her out of here,” Sebastian said, standing up. “I’m going to smoke. Abby, you wanna come?” 

Abigail rose from her seat and followed Sebastian outside. I watched as she took her hair out of a ponytail, running her hands through it. Sam finished the last of the fries, looking over at me. I noticed that despite the excitement of the night, there was a distant look in his eyes. I wanted to ask if he was okay, but I didn't think it would be the time or the place.

“She’s cute, right?” Sam questioned, raising his eyebrows. I lifted my head, so distracted by my thoughts that I wasn't sure if I had heard him right.

“Wh-what?” I stuttered. He laughs, almost a chortle. I could listen to it all day.

“Abigail. She told me you guys went swimming today. I saw the way you blushed when she asked you if you liked anyone. I know she has a bit of a thing with Sebastian but it’s not that ser-”

“I don’t! I don’t have a crush on her.” I said quickly, putting my hands on my head. Despite being utterly embarrassed, I was glad wasn’t catching on to the looks I’ve been giving him all night.

“Okay...sure, Zalia. I’ve got my eye on you two though.” He said casually. I frowned. We sat in silence for a few minutes, sipping on our drinks and surveying the Friday crowd. Mayor Lewis walked in and headed straight to Marnie’s table, waving Emily down for two drinks. Sam looked at me and raised his eyebrows.

“Okay. I believe you.” I giggled, finishing up my drink. Emily walked to our booth and picked up our dishes.

“Anything else for you two?” She smiled, a knowing look in her eye. I quickly dismissed it, hoping it was just the excitement of the night getting to me. Sam slide her some cash and smiled.

“I can pay for my drink,” I protested, taking out my wallet. He swatted my arm playfully. 

“Don’t worry about it. I just got paid.” He smiled. “Besides, not to burst your bubble, but I’m pretty sure Abigail and Sebastian left together, so we couldn’t have split it anyway.”

I laughed, shaking my head. We stood up and left the Saloon. Most of the town was there, buzzing with drinks in their system and Gus’s food in their stomachs. It was about nine o’clock, so not too late, but not that early either. Despite the fact, I was still wide awake.

The summer air at night was humid and refreshing. I could smell the saltiness of the sea as we walked towards Sam’s house. I wondered what it was like to live out there.

“Vincent had a tantrum today with Penny,” Sam said. We had barely reached the town square when he began to speak, standing over the street light. I looked at him, allowing him to continue.

“Today they read a story about a soldier and Vincent got upset. When they were reading the book he seemed fine, but afterward, during playtime, he started throwing rocks at Jas and Penny,” Sam said with a slight shake in his voice. We stopped walking and I touched his back gently, rubbing it. “Penny asked him to stop and he wouldn’t. He just wouldn’t. Then he started kicking and screaming at her. Penny had to run to Joja for me to calm him down. I got in trouble with Morris.”

I nodded. He continued walking, however, he didn’t turn on the street towards his house. He walked towards the bridge to the beach. Without question, I followed him.

“I just...I just don’t know what to tell him. I know Dad is supposed to come home soon, but I’m not sure what to do with him until then. He needs his dad.” He said. We walked across the bridge and onto the beach. He removed his shoes and socks, placing them by the grass. I followed, sliding off my sandals. 

“You do seem like a father figure to him though. For now, at least.” I said. He nodded. We walked towards an abandoned towel. Sam sits with his legs crossed. I do the same. We watched as the tide came in, washing over an abandoned fireplace. The moon was nearly full, its brightness reflecting on the gentle waves crashing on the shore.

“What about your dad? What is he like?” Sam asked. He picked at his nails and looked at me. His big blue eyes appeared sadder than they were minutes ago at the saloon. Filled with worry. He really cared about his family. One look into his eyes and I would do anything to bring his dad back and fix his family. 

“Well,” I sighed, stretching out my legs. “Once my mom...went to war...my dad went a little crazy. He stopped going to work. All he would do is stare out the window. He didn’t drive my sister and me to school anymore. He wouldn’t cook us dinner. We had to put him in an institution slightly outside of Zuzu City. Before that, he was nice. Strong. Compassionate.”  
Sam sighed. “Zalia, you don’t have to hide from me. Is your mom still at war or is she dead?”

His bluntness made my heart stop. I looked at him, frightened. He reached out and grabbed my hand, almost as if he was apologizing for his tone. I accepted, letting him hold on to it as I nodded.

“Yeah...four years ago. That’s what made my dad go crazy.” I said. He stroked my hand.

“I’m really sorry that happened to you, Zalia. Both of your parents. You must’ve felt so alone. I can’t imagine what that is like.” Sam said. His voice was gentle, filled with empathy and affection. My stomach bubbled and my heart raced. 

“It’s fine. It’s why I’m here. A good reason to redo my life, I guess.” I said, faking a smile. Sam watched me carefully, as if he didn’t know what to say. I ran my hand through my hair anxiously and looked around. 

“It’s getting late. Your mom might worry.” I said. I didn’t want the night to end at all. I liked talking to Sam. I also didn’t want him to get in trouble.

“You’re right. I guess.” He said. He stood up, reaching out a hand for me. I grabbed it and stood up. I didn’t let go for a second, letting our hands linger. After a moment, he slowly released my hand. We walked back in silence. The walk to Sam’s from the beach was a short one. Too short. Once we reached his door he turned to me.

“It’s almost midnight. Mom is probably asleep, so she won’t wake up when I come in. I’ll just tell her we were at the saloon late.” He said. I nodded. 

“You don’t want to tell her you were at the beach?” I teased, raising my eyebrow. He looked down and smiled shyly.

“She would think we were...doing...something.” He mumbled. I laughed quietly and backed up, preparing to walk. It really was late.

“Thank you for talking to me and telling me about your life. It helped a lot.” He said. 

“I could say to the same for you.”

“Well-”

We heard a ruffle in the bushes beside the cemetery. Sam rushed to my side, standing behind me closely. I squinted, trying to figure out what could be there. Perhaps a lost Jumino? I grabbed Sam’s arm and hid behind an oak tree, peeking out. I had experience fighting monsters from the mines, but I was hesitant pulling out my sword in front of Sam. Especially after our conversations tonight.

“Lewis!” A woman gasped with a stifled giggle. More ruffling sounds occurred, followed by a soft moan. Sam and I looked at each other, wide-eyed. It was Marnie and Lewis!

“I told you! I told all of you!” He whispered, grabbing me by my shoulders. I smiled and nodded quickly.

“You need to go home and I need to get out of here before we hear something we REALLY don’t want to hear.” I whispered back, pushing him towards his house. He smirked and waved before opening his door and disappearing into his dark home. I ran towards the woods, figuring that the longer walk would be better than an awkward confrontation with Lewis and Marnie.

As I walked up to the trail, I thought about Sam’s face when we realized it was Lewis and Marnie. He looked so giddy, knowing that he was right all along. I knew he was going to have me back up his theory to Sebastian and Abigail later on. I looked forward to it. Seeing his expression again would make me smile and warm up my heart. I could still feel his chest on my back, hand on my arm, slowly peeking from behind me. His hand was big and slightly rough from playing guitar and handling produce all day, yet it was warm and gentle with me. I stopped in my tracks and sighed, huffing and staring at the sky.

I definitely had a big, fat crush on Sam. And I hated it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> of course i had to add my problematic fave couple -marnie and lewis! thought it was a cute touch. if you can't tell already, abigail is my favorite girl npc. also this chapter got a little emo, sorry about that. this is gonna be an emo fic, but will be filled w fluff and maybe other stuff eventually :-) hope u guys are having a good weekend.


	4. The Letter

I had been working in the field harvesting blueberries all morning. Baskets and baskets of the small berry were growing all over my kitchen, but I was prepared to package all of them to sell back to Pierre’s. As I began pouring blueberries into smaller containers, my house phone ringed loudly, causing me to jump. I wasn’t used to the phone ever ringing - Robin had helped me set it up a few weeks ago and I hadn’t gotten around to sharing my number with people - except for Sam.

“Hello?” 

“Zalia! You’ll never believe it. My dad sent us a letter!” Sam exclaimed on the phone. I smiled, twisting the cord in my hand.

“That’s amazing. Has Vincent seen it yet?” I asked.

“He’s at school right now. My mom is at Caroline’s. Can I come over and read it to you? I want to open it with someone.” He said. I could feel his excitement radiating through the phone. 

“If you help me with these blueberries, of course,” I said, surveying the mountains of fruit I had left to package. 

“I’ll be there soon!” He said before hanging up. I sat there for a moment, listening to the dial tone. I was more excited than I should’ve been. I knew that I should try to figure myself out before dating. I knew that he definitely wouldn’t like me back - he seemed too involved with other activities in his life, like working, taking care of his family, and music. Plus, he has known people like Penny much longer than he has known me. I don’t think I would stand a chance. I needed to repress this.

As I waited for Sam, I fixed up a quick lunch in case he hadn’t eaten: cheesy cauliflower. As the cheese slowly melted onto the vegetables, I took out some maple bars I had cooked up the previous day. I was glad that I finally had the money and the ingredients for cooking. It was something I found calming and mindless. I felt a tiny bead of sweat on my forehead and opened the windows of the house. Next thing I knew I found myself in the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. I brushed my hair carefully, trying to calm the frizziness. Why was I so worried about my appearance so suddenly? I sighed and left, padding through my bedroom and back in the kitchen. I peeked out the window to see Sam biking through the farm, parking in front of the cabin. He looked around and wiped the sweat off of his face, walking up the stairs. His blonde hair wasn’t as spiky as usual - the humidity made it slightly curly and disheveled. Before he could knock, I opened the door.

“Hi,” I smiled, opening it and letting him in. He walked in and closed the door behind him, dropping his backpack on the floor and stepping past the fruit.

“I don’t think I have ever been in here,” Sam said, peeking around the kitchen. “I mean, I think Abby and Sebastian tried to break in once - before you moved here, of course - but I wussed out.”

I laughed, setting down plates of cheesy cauliflower and maple bars. He did not hesitant, digging in immediately. A strand of hair hung over his forehead, blocking his eyes from my view. I wanted to push it past his ear as they do it in movies, while I hold his face in my hands-

“Look,” He said with his mouth full. In his hands was a letter. It was unopen, slightly stained at the front, from Lieutenant Kent Campbell. It was addressed to the Campbell family, which I am assuming is Jodi, Sam, and Vincent. “First letter in months. It’s really hard for them to find a mail service near the battlegrounds.” 

“Well, open it!” I said, pushing his shoulder lightly. He slowly opened the envelope, careful not to tear it too much. He fished out a small beige card, slightly torn on an edge. The ink inside it bled through, staining Sam’s fingers. The handwriting was rushed and sloppy, it seemed as if it would be impossible to read. However, Sam read it aloud easily, voice shaky and small.

_Dear family,_  
I miss you all very dearly. The Ferngill Republic has been losing hundreds every day. It’s getting emptier and emptier. However, I think we are getting somewhere with the Empire. Don’t worry, I will come home in one piece. I can’t write much as I do not have enough room on this card and we only receive half an hour of break time.  
Jodi, I hope you are doing well. I love you very much and dream of seeing your face again,  
Vincent, keep trying at school. I know that you continue to struggle, but know that this is important to your future. I will be there soon to tutor you, but you should look to Sam for now. He wants to help you succeed,  
Sam, I know your birthday is coming up soon. I hope you have a great one. Make sure to take some time for yourself. I know you spend a lot of time taking care of the family but have a drink. I’ll buy you one once you return.  
Be good. I will see you all soon.  
Dad __

__I looked up at Sam, tears swelling behind my eyes. He sniffled, wiping his hands over his eyes._ _

__“Sorry, I just...I just miss him.” He lamented. I got out of my chair and jumped to his side, hugging him tightly. “I am really happy that he sent us this in time for my birthday. He wasn’t able to do that for Vincent.”_ _

__“It’s okay. I understand.” I comforted, holding him closely. “I didn’t know your birthday was so soon though.”_ _

__“Yeah,” Sam said, pulling away. “It’s tomorrow actually.”_ _

__“What? Why didn’t you say anything?” I exclaimed. I moved to the floor, beginning to pile blueberries into containers. Sam followed my lead, doing the same._ _

__“I don’t know. I felt weird about it. But I was going to tell you that Seb, Abigail, and I are having a small thing in Sebastian’s basement tomorrow night.” He said while popping a blueberry in his mouth._ _

__“If you’ll have me,” I mumbled, tying up the carts with a string. We worked for several minutes, Sam rambling on about how excited he was to show Vincent the letter. He said that their dad was Vincent’s role model, but to me, it seemed that Sam was more of the role model type._ _

__The sun had begun to set on the valley, casting its last glimmer on the farm’s crops. Sam and I hauled nearly 300 cartons of blueberries to the shipping bin for Lewis to pick up in the morning. I couldn’t wait for the gold I could receive. Maybe I could actually get Sam a nice birthday present._ _

__“Thank you for all of your help. This would’ve taken forever without you.” I sighed, closing the shipping bin for good._ _

__“No problem. Mom had told me she would be spending the day with Caroline and Vincent was on a field trip to the forest, so I wouldn’t have been able to show them the letter sooner. I’m glad I opened it with you, though.” He said, making eye contact with me. He was so much taller than me - nearly a foot. If I stood on my tip toes, I could barely reach his nose. I wondered how we would kiss. I immediately tried to distract myself by wiping my jeans._ _

__“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” I said. He reached out and grabbed my shoulders, wrapping his arms around my back. He put his head on top of mine gently, resting his chin on me. I closed my eyes and hugged him back, breathing in his scent and taking in his warmth. I felt dizzy when he released me, both of us smiling._ _

__“Thank you, Zalia. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said, tossing in a wink and walking the other way. I sighed and headed back to my cabin._ _

__As I washed the dishes, I noticed a small orange light blinking by the telephone. I picked up the receiver and held it to my ear._ _

__“One new voicemail.” The monotoned voice said. I waited for the voice._ _

__“Zalia, honey. This is your father....”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, this chapter is short! i ended up splitting it into two. the next one will be worth it...i think. hopefully from here on out i will be producing longer chapters. i wasn't aware of how many pages each chapter ends up being on google docs! thank you for reading, as always, leave kudos if you like or comment. i live for validation.


	5. Birthday Party

I finished wrapping Sam’s present in bright green wrapping paper I found in the basement of the old cabin. It was ugly, similar to a slime green, but I knew Pierre wouldn’t carry wrapping paper. It would just have to do. 

It was dusk - the sun was gone, yet the night sky glowed with an orange tint. The clouds slowly faded from view, appearing as shadows against the starry night. I had spent all morning in the mines, trying to find the perfect gemstone for Sam. I emerged with a rather large scratch on my arm, scarring the poor blacksmith Clint out of his chair. I was then sent to Harvey’s where I received bandages and alcohol wipes, barely making it home in time for me to eat and get ready. I scarfed down some pancakes and quickly wrapped the present. I was told to be at Sebastian’s at 7:30, and it was nearing seven. 

I turned on the shower, hastily removing my clothes and checking the water temperature. As I jumped in the tub, I was immediately taken aback by a deep pain in my arm. I had completely forgotten about my injury until now. I attempted to ignore the pain, peeling off the bandages and tossing them into the bin. The dried up blood was rinsed off by the warm water, turning the bottom of my tub into a clear rusty scene. It was disgusting. I cleaned myself off and turned off the water, jumping out and running to the closet. I slipped on some casual wear and headed out.

The walk to Robin’s house was one that I was familiar with. I had been a couple of times for assistance on building chicken coops and silos, or to bring miscellaneous objects to Demetrius for lab analysis. It was a bit of a hike, as the house was perched in the mountains, overlooking Pelican Town and the Gem Sea. I found it breathtaking. I should come up here more often.

I had never been to Sebastian’s room, where the party is being held. It was in the basement in a dark hallway, with steep steps that led to a door covered in obscure posters. I could hear laughter bouncing out of the room. A lot of voices, too. More than just Sebastian and Abigail. I opened the door and peeked in. To my surprise, there was a lot of people there. Pretty much all of the young adults, aside from Alex, Haley, and Penny, stood around a wooden table, eating pizza and talking. Electronic dance music played from speakers by Sebastian’s computer. Sam stood up once he saw me and grinned.

“Zalia! Hey! Come get some pizza, man!” He shouted. He seemed as if he had already been drinking. I giggled and sat next to him, grabbing a slice and taking a bite. It was from Gus’s saloon. I recognized his signature tomato sauce recipe and soft, buttery crust. I silently listened to the conversations happening. There seemed to be a heated debate between Emily and Sebastian on whether or not some character in the Solorarian Chronicles could defeat some other character. 

“You’re ten minutes late. People here like to be prompt. Nothing like us city folk, right?” Sam teased, nudging me gently. His hair was gelled up as always, but this time it was silently, more done? If possible? He wore a yellow button-up shirt with a blue floral tie, accompanied by dark blue pleated pants. He looked nice. He usually dressed so casually in his typical t-shirt and bomber jacket. I wanted him, to say the least.

“Happy birthday,” I said, handing him a small wrapped box. He held it to his ear and shook it wildly. “Go easy on the shaking!”

He ripped the wrapping paper open wildly, tossing the shreds behind him, causing Sebastian to give him a look. He took out the presents and giggled. In his hand was a small, clear box with a tigerseye in it.

“This is my most favorite thing!! How did you find it? How did you know I liked this?” He said, inspecting it. 

“I remember you telling me you and your dad used to find these when fishing,” I said, watching him. “I know you missed your dad a lot so I figured this would help you think of the good memories. I found it in the mines.”

“You shouldn’t go down there, you know.” He said quietly, looking up at me. “It’s dangerous.”

“It’s fine.” I dismissed him, nudging the box towards him. “There’s something else in there too.”

He fished another item from the box to reveal a bright pink jelly. He looked at it quizzingly before looking at me.

“I’m too drunk to know what this is.” He said.

“It’s cactus fruit jelly. Remember how I spent so long trying to make jelly? I have finally mastered it. I wanted to show you with your favorite fruit.” I said.

Sam beamed from ear to ear. He reached out and pulled me to him, holding me tightly. The conversations occurring at the table grew quieter as we hugged. I pulled away shortly after, not wanting to raise suspicions around the crowd.

“Should we do cake? Emily baked a lemon blueberry cake for us.” Abigail said, reaching behind her and pulling out a lavishly decorated cake. It was frosted a light blue with yellow accents and the words “Happy Birthday Sam” in small, cursive letters. We all sang Sam happy birthday tunes and proceeded to shove cake in Sam’s face. He licked it off his lips and cleaned the rest off with a wet napkin. I could still see a speck of frosting next to his blue-stained lips, but I didn’t say anything. No one seemed to care.

Shane went around pouring more pale ales for the group as we dug into the cake. Emily knew her way around a cake - this was the best thing I have eaten in a long time. It wasn’t too sweet or too sour from the lemon - it was just right.  
“I bought the blueberries from Pierre’s, which were from Blue Moon Farm,” Emily said, slyly looking at me. “They were the tastiest blueberries I had ever eaten in my life. That’s why the cake is so good.” 

Sam applauded me, leading to the group following.

“Thank you, Zalia, for bringing your blueberries to Stardew Valley,” Sam hollered, taking a long sip of his drink. “And thank you for bringing...your body. I mean, you. Your presence.” Everyone laughed once again, this time louder. I noticed a slight rush of pink to his ears and cheeks.

Sebastian turned up the music, causing a handful of people to get up and start dancing. He switched the light off and turned on a lamp. It flashed in various amount of colors, making everyone stare in awe.

“How did you do that?” I asked, gaping at Sebastian.

“Just some shit I’ve been programming.” He smirked. He took Abigail’s hand and led her upstairs.

“I’m sorry you didn’t get your chance with Abigail,” Sam shouted in my ear. I winced at the loudness of his voice and patted his shoulder.

“I don’t think I like Abigail like that. I told you before.” I said. She seemed to really enjoy Sebastian’s company. When I had asked if they were dating, she smiled coyly and rolled her eyes, stating “Everyone always asks us.” We left it at that.

Sam shrugged and finished off his drink. 

“You wanna do shots?” He asked quickly. I stared at him questionably. Hard liquor was hard to come by in Pelican Town. There weren’t a lot of liquor stores even in Zuzu City due to the rationing of potatoes, corn, and wheat for the soldiers at war. “I brought some I found in my dad’s closet.”

I nodded, following him upstairs and to Maru’s room. His red backpack was stashed under her bed, along with Abigail’s and Sebastian’s. Sam fished out a small flask and glasses then sniffed it. He groaned at the smell and handed it to me. I poured it into two tiny clear cups and handed one to him. 

“Ready?” I asked, putting the liquid to my lips. It was brown and strong. It had been a while since I had a shot. Probably before I had turned twenty. He nodded nervously. We counted down from 3 and drank the liquid. It burned my throat immediately, making me gag. Sam did the same, wincing and wheezing. I wanted it to hit me sooner. I had suddenly remembered the voicemail my dad sent me, his voice in pain as he begged for me to return home again.  
“This shit is terrible,” I laugh, pouring myself another one. “It’s basically nail polish remover.”

“Yeah, it’s probably the cheap shit he used to buy before he quit alcohol,” Sam said. I poured him another cup before he shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I’m pretty drunk. I was going to offer some to Sebastian and Abigail, but I think they went to smoke pot or something.” 

I stared into the flask. It was still half full. I looked up at Sam to see him on sitting on the bed, looking around Maru’s room. It was decorated with little cut out stars. I wondered if she made them herself. I didn’t want to go home like my father wanted me to. Maybe it was selfish of me but the last thing I wanted to do was leave this town. To leave Sam. I suddenly felt a surge of adrenaline fill my veins and I realized I was in someone’s bedroom alone with Sam. His pants hugged his legs the right way, exposing the back muscle he had grown from lifting materials at work. His shirt was slightly unbuttoned, exposing a bit of his chest. It had been hot in Sebastian’s room, so this made sense. I was irresistibly attracted to him and needed a distraction. 

I plugged my nose and lifted the flask up, chugging it quickly. Sam looked up at me and lurched up immediately, snatching the flask just as I had finished its remnants. 

“What do you think you’re doing? That is a lot of alcohol. That’s...that..” He sputtered, dropping the flask on the ground. I had never seen him this drunk. I steadied him and held onto his shoulders.

“It’s fine. Besides, you guys had already started drinking before I came over.” I said. He nodded slowly. 

“Only one.” He said, holding up one finger. “One round.” 

I walked over to Maru’s desk, ignoring him. Blueprints and doodles of inventions were strewed all over, everything in black ink. I switched on the lamp, curious at her lastest inventions. I heard an exaggerated gasp to see Sam walking up to me. He traced my scar with my arm, now lightly visible with the dried blood. His touch tickled me, but I stood still. 

“What happened? Is this when you went ...down there? For my gift?” He asked, continuously running his thumb around my arm. I watched his fingers as they moved down to my wrist and back up.

“I always hurt myself ‘down there’. It’s gonna happen.” I stated matter-of-factly, not relaizing the double entendre until he slightly smirked. Watching him touch me intoxicated me further - that or the large amount of alcohol I had just drunk. Or both. I wasn’t sure. He didn’t reply, resting his hand on the desk. I looked up at him, noticing the streak of frosting still on him.

“You still have frosting on you.” I said, trying to change the subject. He licked his lips, attempting to find it. 

“Not on your lips. Next to it.” I directed. He moved his fingers and wiped his upper cheek.

“No, by your lips.” I giggled this time, watching as he wiped his finger next to the frosting. I reached for his hand - it was warmer than usual, maybe even clammier. I tried to aim for the frosting, but my dizziness got the best of me, accepting jamming his finger into his mouth. We laughed. 

“I told you this is harder than it looks.” Sam laughed. “I can just go to the ba-”

I stood on my toes and leaned forward, grabbing him by his shoulders and putting my lips to the frosting. I gradually opened my mouth and licked it off gently, making Sam gasp abruptly. I closed my mouth and stood there for a second, not knowing what to do. I didn’t realize how sexual licking frosting off of your friend was until now. I suddenly felt a hand snake around my back, squeezing it lightly. I moved my lips towards his slowly, leaving less than an inch between us. I opened my mouth slightly. I could almost taste the beer that he had been drinking all evening. He didn't react, other than his sudden ragged breathing. He smelled slightly floral and sweet, possibly from the cake and something else. I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t sure about anything. But he didn’t let go. I didn’t let go. We stayed like that for a moment, staring at each other's lips nearly touching.

As I was about to pull away, he pulled my body to his. I could feel his heartbeat on my chest as he pulled me closer, resting his other hand on my upper back. I could holloring and shouting from downstairs, making me slightly nervous, so I closed my eyes. I moved my lips so they touched his barely and held them over him. He didn’t reach towards me, open his mouth, move, or anything. I guess since I kissed him I should do it, but something stopped me. Maybe we should be lying down? I slowly led us back to Maru’s bed, pushing him softly onto the red comforter, which caused him to pull away completely. He opened his eyes and peered at me at the brightly lit room. His expression was unreadable. I silently cursed myself for moving to the bed. If we had kept kissing at the desk we wouldn’t have had to pull away. I felt my cheeks flush, now realizing what had just happened. I was going to say something, opening my mouth and stuttering before movement was heard in the hallways. Heavy breathing and banging noises were heard until the door burst open. Sebastian carried Abigail in his arms, her hands wrapped around his neck. She moaned as he kissed her neck before looking up and seeing us.

“Um...Seb!” She screamed. Sebastian turned to us and dropped Abigail, barely catching her. I jumped five feet away from Sam, not even looking at him.

“You guys want an orgy?” Sebastian smirked. Abigail and Sam groaned loudly. 

“We’re leaving.” Sam said, getting off the bed and walking out. I followed slowly, afraid of what was to come. Abigail closed the door. I could hear her snickering even as she locked the door. Sam and I stood outside the door, unsure of what to do next.

“I’m really drunk.” I said. He looked at me and smiled. My shoulders relaxed. He didn’t hate me.

“I told you that you would be. That’s a lot of alcohol.” He said. I rolled my eyes and pushed him aside playfully, hoping to ease the tension. We barely even kissed. It was a simple peck. On the lips. Like an old married couple. Why did I feel like we had just fucked?

“I’m going to...go home...I think.” I slurred, walking down the steps as slowly as possible. He followed suit.

“I think I have to stay because it’s my party. Otherwise I would walk with you.” He said, walking me to the door. 

“Happy birthday.” I said, opening the door. The cool air of the night greeted me. It was starting to get cloudy. I hoped it wouldn’t rain on my way home.

“Happy birthday.” He replied back, smiling and kissing the top of my head. I closed my eyes and smiled, taking in his touch. He pulled away and watched me walk down the porch and into the darkness. I hoped I knew the way home, but the stars seemed like they would keep me company. I turned back around and saw him watching me through the door. I saluted him, which hindered my balance, resulting to me tripping and falling on my face in the mud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is late! i work full time when i’m not at university so it’s been busy! i hope this chapter is worth it :-) this has been inspired by my many drunken experiences kissing people i shouldn’t have been kissing but i also didn’t want them to FULLY kiss bc i want this to be a sort of slow burn ...but we will see


	6. Concert

The banging was loud. Why was it so loud? I sighed deeply and turned around, snoring. I heard another one, then a screeching symbol sound. I bolted up, about to scream at whatever it was making the noise. I then realized I was not at my house. This was not my bed. This was Maru’s bed. I was in her cozy red comforters, my makeup smeared all over it. I then remembered what had happened the night before. I was back at the scene of the crime. Or half of a crime, considering only PG action was committed here. I looked at Maru’s rocket ship alarm clock: 11:24 a.m. 

How did I get here? The last thing I remember was leaving Maru and Sebastian’s house. I swear I remembered walking down the porch steps and looking at Sam for one final goodbye. I wasn’t sure what happened, but the continuous crashing was making my head pound. I opened the door and found the bathroom, washing my face with what looked like Robin’s “age-defying face wash”. As I ran the faucet, I saw black streaks of mascara on my fingertips, making for murky gray water flowing in the sink. I hope it didn’t stain. I dried my hands off and opened up some drawers, looking for a spare toothbrush or comb. I heard a quiet knock at the door.

“Who...who is it?” I whispered. I didn’t want to face Sam yet, if he was still here,

“It’s me. Maru.” The voice called back. I opened the door and saw Maru facing me, a brand new toothbrush and comb in hand. She was already dressed, grease and sweat on her forehead. She smiled sympathetically. “I figured you wanted these.” 

I thanked her and closed the door, embarrassed. I would have to make it up to Maru by giving her some iron and gold bars. I took care of my business and noticed that the music had stopped. It was replaced by laughter in the kitchen. I walked down and saw Abigail, Sebastian, and Maru in the kitchen. Maru and Abigail were at the stove flipping pancakes while Sebastian sat at the table, sipping black coffee. We made eye contact and he smiled, waving slightly.

“Good morning. Glad you didn’t die.” He said, taking a small tip and gesturing to the coffee pot. “There’s coffee and aspirin there. Make sure you eat before taking the pill.”

I was surprised by Sebastian’s caring words and actions. I didn’t have much of a hangover, but I graciously accepted, pouring myself a cup of coffee and splashing milk in it. I sat down to Maru handing me a stack of pancakes. Just as I was about to dig in, I heard a deep, gruff voice behind me.

“You’re in my spot.”

I look up in fear and see Sam. He holds his mouth in a thin line, but I could tell he was attempting to not smile.

“Just kidding, Zalia. Good morning. How are you feeling?” He said, sitting beside me. I relax. I wondered if he remembered last night. 

“I’m doing just fine,” I said as Sam sat down beside me, scarfing down another pancake. “Until I woke up to banging noises, at least.”

Abigail chuckled and grabbed my shoulder. “We were just practicing for the gig we’re playing tonight at Gus’. He lets us perform there once a year, so we’re trying to be extra good so we can perform durin-“

“He would _let _us if we did _my _song instead of yours, Abigail.” Sebastian huffed. Abigail turned her body towards him, eyebrows furrowed in frustration.____

____“No one wants to perform your emo-ass shit, Sebastian. It’s lame. Right, Sam?”_ _ _ _

____All attention turned towards Sam, who was halfway through a mouthful of pancake. He put his hands up in defense, silently staring at both of them. They turned back towards each other._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, well _your _shit is fucking annoying,” Sebastian yelled in response.___ _ _ _

______“It’s not annoying, it’s catchy!” Abigail stood up, slamming her palms on the table._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I think I am going to go. I’ll be at your performance tonight, though.” I said nervously, standing up and backing away. I looked once again at Sam, debating if I should pull him aside and say something, anything, to see if he remembered last night. I was interrupted by Abigail, asking Sam to help her clean up the drum kit._ _ _ _ _ _

______I stepped onto the crunchy gravel and made my way home, walking as quickly as possible. I had missed a large chunk of my morning chores by sleeping it. Hopefully walking would cure my slight headache and get me back on the farming grind. I suppose I should also call my father back. I could hear the nurses in the background addressing other patients as his shaky voice rang through the line, asking me to return back to Zuzu City._ _ _ _ _ _

______“To take care of the house,” He pleaded. “And me.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______I felt a wave of guilt rush over me, making me shudder to my core. Of course I was being selfish for running away from everything. My mother’s death had affected the family in different ways - my grandfather collapsing after I had painstakingly broken the news to him, causing his death shortly after. My sister threw herself into work, getting her law degree, sending money home, but never talking to us. My father took it the worst, having to be admitted into a full-care facility after the incident. I’m sure me running away to the old farm didn’t help anyone._ _ _ _ _ _

______I reached the familiar grass of the farm and looked up, observing the land around me. Its beauty surrounded and excited me. The familiar, humid, sticky feeling of the air told me it was summer, as well as the arrays of sunflowers I had planted. Bright pink melons arose from the ground, days before their prime. I smiled at myself, now understanding why I came here. I had made something so empty, so destroyed, into something fulfilling. I had brought life back into this place. Even if Sam ended up hating me once he remembered what happened, I still felt like I had a reason to stay here. I walked over to the grape trills I had set up, retrieving a basket from the shed and began plucking out clusters of the bright purple fruits. I had a long day ahead of me._ _ _ _ _ _

______~_ _ _ _ _ _

______“My valley-famous bruschetta, on the house for guests of Void City’s show tonight!” Gus called as he and Emily carried large platters of the snack to various tables. We applauded in response. It was seven in the evening, the sun barely disappearing into the sea, fireflies buzzing outside of the saloon. It was a warm, crisp evening. Much of the town was present at the Saloon, waiting for Sam’s band to start. A small platform had been set up with the help of Robin and Demetrius with the band’s instruments laid on it. We all waited patiently, most of the crowd with a drink at hand. I opted for water tonight, knowing last night brought out a dangerous side of me._ _ _ _ _ _

______“This is your first time hearing them play, right?” Haley asked me, taking a sip of her lemonade. She never really showed her face around the saloon, only when big events such as this one happened. Haley was nothing short of a socialite, only appearing when there was a large number of people and free food._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yeah, actually,” I responded. “I’m excited.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“They’re not that bad. You’ll enjoy it.” She smiled at me. She turned to Alex and struck up a conversation with him, leaving me sitting awkwardly by myself. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Emily rushing towards the light switch, turning it on and off multiple times. The conversations grew to a close as a small strobe light turned on._ _ _ _ _ _

______“One, two, three, four!” Abigail shouted before starting to pound on the drums. An electronic tune played from Sebastian’s keyboard before Sam began playing his guitar. It was a mellow song, yet it had people on their feet clapping. I may have even seen Shane nodding his head with the rhythm._ _ _ _ _ _

______The next song was more upbeat, causing the crowd to start dancing. I stood over my table, nodding my head to the beat and watching Sam’s skilled fingers strum his guitar. He looked up and surveyed the crowd before making eye contact with me, causing him to break into a grin. Sweat beaded his forehead as he looked away quickly, strumming more intensely as the bridge of the song occurred. Once the song was finished, everyone wildly applauded. As soon as the last chord was played, Gus ran to the stage and whispered something in Sam’s ear. His face grew pale and he stared ahead, boring his eyes into the wall. He nodded and removed his guitar from his body, walking over to Abigail and Sebastian, talking to them quietly._ _ _ _ _ _

______A confused stir arose from the crowd. We had barely gotten the chance to applaud before Gus had worried us with his sour expression. He then stood at the center of the stage, cupping his hands over his mouth so we could hear him._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I have just received word that the Gotoro Empire has bombed the Fern Islands,” Gus announced. Silence took over the saloon, all of us not knowing how to respond. “I am sorry for being the bearer of bad news and disrupting the show, however, we should be aware if we should take shelter at some point during the night.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______The last sentence shook everyone to their cores, resulting in cries and panicked whispers. Emily covered her face with her hands, shaking her head slowly. I darted my gaze to Sam, who stood next to the stage, staring at a wall. I attempted to walk over to him but was blocked by the crowd of villagers running towards Gus’s radio._ _ _ _ _ _

______“...army has decided to launch a full-fledged attack on the Gotoro Empire tonight, troops breaking into the headquarters and rampaging the buildings.” The radio speaker spoke._ _ _ _ _ _

______I couldn’t take it. I felt the heat rise in my body as my arms began to shake violently. I could hear the radio from that day four years ago. The female voice stating that a troop had been bombed. The troop number had not been released yet but it was on the east side of the army base. I immediately ran to the desk and fumbled through the pages of my mother’s file, trying to find out what troop number she was. My sister ran to me, pulling me away from the desk. The files, I need to know. She held onto me, stroking my hair. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay._ _ _ _ _ _

______The call had come four days later._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Zalia? Hey!” Sam said, shaking me. I didn’t respond, feeling the tears streaming down my cheeks. I tried to wipe them but realized I wasn’t moving. I sighed, releasing a shaky, ragged breath. I looked down, seeing my fingers twitching wildly. The room grew smaller, I felt everyone cramped up against each other. I wanted them to get off of me. I needed to be alone. I tried to leave, but I felt a weight crushing against my chest. I tried to squint and see, but my vision was blurry - switching between real life and flashbacks of my mother’s funeral. Black dresses. My sister and I standing on a wooden platform, surveying the audience. My grandfather’s warm smile, urging me to start the eulogy. The weight on my chest crushed me harder. Maybe it was Clint. I tried to move my lips, telling him to get off of me, but all that came out was a gasp._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yoba.” I could hear Sam say. He grabbed my arm - his tender touch feeling like a tight grip - and he pulled me out of the saloon, into fresh air. I looked up at the sky. The stars were bright and vibrant. They seemed to be shaking violently seemed as if they were falling onto me, though they never touched the ground. I watched them, waiting for my body to come back to itself. Waiting for the stars to stop convulsing to the beat of my heart. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Sam sitting beside me, fumbling through his pockets._ _ _ _ _ _

______I gave myself a few minutes to recompose. The earth was still once again. The big pine tree by the Saloon whistled quietly, its leaves responding to the wind’s touch. I could hear the beach again, similarly to that night Sam and I walked around town in the dark. I sighed and looked at Sam, who was fidgeting with a lighter._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Need help?” I asked, reaching from his hands and taking the lighter. He nodded, not saying a word as he pulled out a small pack of cigarettes and fishing one out. The pink box reflected the deep white moon peeking from the clouds. I lit his cigarette as he took a small drag._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I didn’t know you smoked,” I observed. The smell of tobacco and cherry filled the air. I took the cigarette from him and took a longer, deeper drag._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I don’t. It’s Sebastian’s. I stole it from his room and hold onto it in case he needs a smoke. But I felt like I needed one today.” He said, taking it back from me and mimicking my technique. He let out a deep cough, nearly dropping the cigarette. I chuckle._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You shouldn’t smoke,” I said. I was going to continue, but Sam spoke quickly._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Are you okay?” He asked. He looked at me, wide-eyed._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Just a panic attack, I guess,” I replied, taking another hit of the cig. “My mom died in an explosion.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I figured.” He said. We sat there for a few moments, me finishing the cigarette while he stared towards the sea._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I bet your dad is okay,” I began, squishing the cigarette with my foot. “There are thousands of people fighting, only a small fraction was injured.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Even if he was okay, I wouldn’t know. I wouldn’t know for a while. Even then, I know it’s going to happen eventually.” Sam said, tears pooling into his eyes. I laid my head on his shoulder, letting him vent. “I can’t keep lying to Vincent, Zalia. I keep telling him things like ‘we’ll do this when dad gets back’ or ‘dad will help you’. I’m such a fucking liar.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’re not,” I said, grabbing his hand. “With war, you never know if he’ll return. He’s going to come back, possibly. Even if he doesn’t, you have been a great brother to Vincent. He has a great person to look up to, whether your dad comes back or not.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Sam nodded, sniffling and wiping his face. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, resting his head on mine._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Thank you, Zalia.” He said. I nodded, resting my eyes. Another few moments pass and Sam takes a deep breath._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I hope you know I don’t see you differently after last night. I really do care about our friendship, Zalia.” Sam states. I jump to my feet immediately, scaring Sam._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You remember that?!” I exclaimed. He nodded slowly. “Shit, I have to go.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Zalia-”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’ll see you later Sam! Thanks for taking care of me. And for the cigarette.” I smile and wave, pretending like everything was fine. I wanted him to forget what happened. I wanted to forget. And I definitely didn’t want to talk about it._ _ _ _ _ _

______After a few steps, I turned back. Sam had already started walking home himself. Probably to tuck Vincent into bed, tell him everything will be okay. I really hoped, with all of my heart, that their dad made it home soon._ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg this has gotten like twice the amount of views it had last week!! im very pleasured. quite honestly i started this bc ive been in a bad place and wanted to rediscover an old hobby of mine. i love writing and want to improve on my skills. im glad im doing this with you guys! anyways. the angsty-ness is back. im glad that sam and zalia can relate to each other. it is good for both of them, i think. more of zalia's past life will come in the next chapter! it'll be sad, just warning you.


	7. Road Trip

It was almost autumn. I hadn’t looked at a calendar in weeks, but I could tell by the way the leaves curled and turned a pale green, the way my crops were getting smaller and smaller, and the way the dewy air grew crisper and crisper by the hour. I was excited. I had finally figured out my farm’s layout and would spend autumn maximizing the acres, planting pumpkins and fairy roses alike. As I sketched this in my journal, the telephone rang. I stood up and walked over to it, picking up the receiver.

“Hello?” 

“Zalia. It’s Arie.” The voice spoke. It was stern, yet soft. Just like my sister.

“Hi Arie, how has it been?” I asked, pulling up a chair and sitting down. I hadn’t heard from Arie since I moved into my farm when she wished me luck and told me she was proud of me. Validation from her was something I craved throughout my childhood and something I still cherished as a young adult.

“You know. The explosion has been really tough to deal with.” She sighed. 

“I imagine you have a lot of patients,” I said, managing a small chuckle. While she was a nurse for the Ferngill Republic, which must be brutal for her, she liked to keep things lighthearted between us.

“Almost too many,” She laughed. “But speaking of patients - have you talked to dad lately?”

My breath caught in my throat. I let out a low cough and cleared my throat. “Not really. He asked me to come back again. I declined though.”

“He asked me about you,” She sighed again. Her tone was heavier than usual. She must’ve been exhausted. “You should visit him soon. I think he needs it.”

I nodded, despite the fact she couldn’t see me. “I know. I hope he hasn’t seen the news lately.”

“The medical center shouldn’t have him near TVs or radios. Hopefully, he hasn’t.” She said. There was muffling in the background. I bet she was taking her lunch break. I pictured her short, brown hair french braided, her white nurse uniform speckled in blood. She was probably outside the hospital, drinking water and eating her typical lunch growing up - crackers and cheese. It wasn’t often she could call - she was always busy at the army base, driving patients from the battlegrounds to the hospital, performing surgeries at the base, giving medicine to soldiers. 

“Shit, Z, I have to go. One of the patients is reacting negatively to his meds.” She spoke quickly. I heard shuffling - her grabbing her lunch and shoving it in her pink and purple lunch bag.

“Oh, before you go - are any of your patients named Kent Campbell? Or do you know if he is there? Alive?” I asked. I wasn’t planning on telling Sam anything, but I wanted to know. Just to be sure.

“No, not that I know of. I’ve heard of him though - a really sweet man. Anyways, visit Dad. I love you.” She said.

“Love you, Arie. I will.” I said. I put the phone back on the wall and sighed heavily. Sam’s dad could either be dead or alive, but not injured. It wasn’t much information, but it was slightly comforting knowing he wasn’t struggling in a hospital right now. 

I planned out my trip to Zuzu City. I could take the bus to the nearest train station - I would just need to convince Pam to take me. The train station would take another three hours, which could get me to the bus station by noon if I left at eight. Then that would be another half an hour on the bus, which would get me there by 12:30. Visiting hours were from 9-2, so I would only have an hour and a half with him. I sighed. An overnight trip would have to do.

~

I could see Jodi outside, watering what appeared to be sweet peas. She wiped her forehead and looked up at me, a small smile appearing on her lips. Her soft golden hair was slightly messy, her eyes tired.

“Hi, Zalia. How are you?” She asked, getting up from the gardening bed.

“I’m good, Jodi. Is Sam home?” I asked, walking towards her. She nodded, opening the front door for both of us.

“Yes, just making noise as usual.” She laughed. She disappeared into the kitchen as I headed towards his room. The door was slightly ajar. I expected to hear the usual sounds of his electric guitar, but today I heard the strumming of his acoustic guitar. Walking closer, I could also hear his voice, sweet as honey, singing quietly.

“I’d like it if you tried...before you change my mind,” He mumbled. I heard the rustling of paper as he scribbled words down. I had never heard Sam’s singing before today, his voice was higher than I expected, yet it was smooth and slightly breathy. He repeated the lyrics, strumming a chord on the guitar. I listened for a few seconds as he fiddled with his guitar. I finally came to my senses and knocked on the door. 

“I told you I’m busy, Mom.” He called. 

“It’s not Mom. It’s me.” I replied, peeking in. He grew red, shoving the notebook under his covered and laying his guitar beside him.

“How long...how long have you been standing there?” He faltered. I smiled and walked in.

“I just got here. I didn’t hear anything,” I lied. The last thing I wanted was to embarrass him, though that would make us even, considering how I embarrassed myself the other night in Sebastian’s room.

“Oh. Well, hey.” He said, smiling warmly. I sat down at his desk, looking at the scraps of paper he had lying around. He quickly rose to his feet, pushing them on the floor. “Hey, don’t look at those!”

“Why?” I ask, smirking as he stumbled to the floor, picking up the papers and tossing them under his covers, along with the notebook.

“It’s a secret. Songs for the band. Confidential.” He said, pulling out his notebook and peering at it. I laughed and shook my head. 

“So, uh. Why are you here? I mean, you are welcomed here and all, but what brings you here today?” He asked, obviously still embarrassed. 

“I need a car,” I stood up, peering into his bookshelves. Lots of comic books and children’s books. “I have to go to Zuzu City.”

“Why do you have to go?” He looked up at me, confused.

“Just...reasons.” 

“Zalia. You can tell me.”

“I have to go visit my father. The one in the facility.” I sighed. His face falls slightly, but he tries to keep a steady tone.

“Well,” He thought for a second. “I know Lewis has a truck. Sebastian has a motorcycle.” 

“I don’t know how to drive a motorcycle,” I chuckle nervously. I think about the gifts I could get the mayor to persuade him to let me borrow his truck. I had seen it on my visits to the museum. It looked rather old and rusty, but it should do the trick.

“Oh wait. The mayor’s truck broke down two years ago. Clint told him he would help fix it but they never ended up ordering the parts. At least, that’s what Sebastian told me.” Sam said. I sighed again, covering my face with my hands.

“I forgot we are in the middle of fucking nowhere,” I said. Sam nodded, saying nothing. “I guess I could get a hotel and stay overnight, but I would need someone to help me with my chores.” 

“I could help you,” Sam said softly. “Or we could steal my dad’s car.” 

I looked at him, confused. “What?”

“My dad’s car. He had one - back when he had to go to Zuzu City to do training. When he left, he hid it somewhere so I couldn’t use it. I found the map one day when I was going through his things. It’s parked by the tide pools.”

I didn’t question why he would go through his dad’s things - I would do that when I missed my mom. The faint smell of flowers and coconut from her shampoo on her sweaters. Cat hair from the strays she would always feed outside our house.

“You don’t have to do that, it’s his car,” I said. “I can just get a hotel.”

“I want to come with you,” He said simply. “Besides, I need to get out of here. My mom has been really harsh on me lately.”

I didn’t really want Sam to come. My father was a bit of a mess, hence the facility. I didn’t want Sam to see his state or to see me cry, if I did. But I couldn’t say no to the offer - plus it would mean I could spend time with Sam - something that truly comforted me like no other feeling. I supposed it would be worth it.

“Okay.” I stood up, turning to him. “Let’s leave at eight tomorrow.”

“In the morning?” He exclaimed. 

~

“I don’t know, Morris. I’ve never felt more sick.” Sam coughed into the phone. I heard a sigh and grumbling in the background, causing laughter from me. Sam put his finger on his mouth and continued spewing bullshit for his boss. 

It was eight in the morning. I had gotten up extra early to feed my animals, harvested the last of my summer crops, and made us some snacks for the road. Sam and I walked towards the beach, staying quiet. 

The beach was quiet. I could see Willy fishing out on the dock, focused on the sea. Elliot’s cabin was dark - probably still asleep. We crossed the small wooden bridge to the tide pools, Sam kicking off his slip-on shoes and wading through the pools. He bent over and wiggled his fingers through the pool before pulling out an iridescent blue shell.

“For you.” He said, handing me the shell. I held it in my hands. It was almost as big as my hand, reflecting purple and green against its light blue exterior.

“I love it, thank you.” I grinned. I slipped it in my pocket.

Sam ducked into the trees. I could hear the rustling of branches before the faint sound of an engine. He pulled out of the forest, revealing a black Jeep. 

“Hop in,” He smirked, moving to the passenger seat.

“Can you even drive?” I asked, climbing in.

“Barely. Dad taught me when I was 15 but I never paid attention.” He sighed. I pulled out and drove out of Pelican Town. It was still empty, with the exception of Mayor Lewis gardening on his front lawn. He didn’t seem to notice us leaving the beach and heading out. 

We drove for a few hours, talking about childhood memories and high school. Sam watched the trees fly by, often twirling his hand outside the windows. By the time we could see the city skyline, it was around 11:30.

“I’m hungry.” He whined. I laughed and rolled my eyes.

“I have snacks in the back.” 

“I want real food.”

As we dove further in the city, more diners and fast-food chains came into view. It wouldn’t hurt to get some brunch in us.

“Fine,” I sighed. He grinned in response.

I pulled into a diner and parked the car. Sam jumped out, practically running in. It was speckled with old-timey decor, with dark green diamond tuft booths and glass tables; nothing like the modern restaurants in the city I was used to eating. We were seated immediately and handed menus. They were much bigger than the ones Gus had.

“My parents met at a diner,” Sam said. “My mom was a waitress and he was a cook.”

“How romantic,” I giggle. 

“I know,” Sam said. “Maybe I’ll meet my wife at a Joja Mart.”

I froze slightly. We had met at Joja Mart. Hope fueled my body, running through my veins, giving me a rush of adrenaline. I tried to keep my composure as normal as possible. 

“So...why did you guys move to Pelican Town?” I ask, changing the subject.

“My dad thought we should move somewhere cheaper with a tight-knit community. My parents didn’t have a lot of friends in the city. Dad thought it would be good for us in case, you know.” He said, lowering his voice. Just in time, the waiter came by and took our orders. 

When we finished eating, I offered to pay, which Sam protested until I told him that he could pay for gas. We walked back to the car and started our trip back up.

“I couldn’t help but miss Gus’s burgers when I was eating,” Sam laughed. “Guess I will never leave Pelican Town.”

“Just for Gus’s food?” I tease. He looks over at me, a small smile appearing on his lips.

“Other reasons, too.” He said softly, holding his gaze on me. I look away quickly, focusing my eyes on the road. Why was he being so flirty on this trip?

After what felt like hours, a dark gray building came into view. It was heavily gated, surrounded by security. I pulled up and received a parking ticket.

“This looks a bit like a prison,” Sam said nervously. 

“It totally does. I think a lot of offenders come here to receive help.” I said, pulling into a parking space.

We walked inside to be greeted by a woman in a gray uniform. Sam appeared nervous but didn’t say anything.

“Name of patient?” The woman said, her voice monotoned. 

“William Evans,” I said. My father’s name felt weird on my tongue. It had been a while since I had come here, yet the scenery, or lack thereof, felt familiar and oddly comforting.

After filling out some paperwork, we walked into the waiting room.

“Can you wait here? I won’t be here very long.” I asked Sam. I wasn’t ready for Sam to see my dad. Last time I saw him, he looked older. Not in the typical old-man way, but like he had seen things. His skin was gray, eye bags heavy, hair nearly gone. 

“Okay. Let me know if you need anything.” He said. I could see him eyeing the music magazines in the corner. He should be fine.

“I will,” I said, attempting to smile, but falling flat. Sam pulled me into an embrace, holding me gently, saying nothing.

I let go and walked through the doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS LIKE THREE DAYS AGO BUT I NEVER PRESSED POST I HATE MYSELF AND IM SORRY!!! this was a bit of a weird chapter - i had been writing and deleting content because i wasn't sure how to incorporate sam into it and if i wanted zalia's old life and new life to collide. the next chapter will be better. thank you all for reading! also shoutout to my friend that recently discovered this fic.


	8. Hospital

My legs are crossed nervously, shoe tapping the floor. My father watched as my foot bounced up and down, anxious at the sudden movements. The window my father and I had been staring at for the past hour slowly grew grayer, as the sun nearly disappeared over heavy clouds that loomed over the city. 

“I really am glad you are giving your grandfather a legacy, Zalia. It sounds like you have achieved a lot in a short amount of time.” My dad spoke. He was calmer than the last name I came. His words were spoken quickly, gaze rapidly switching between me and the wall. Today, he sounded normal, aside from the occasional stutter. His composure was still weak, but I could tell the life was slowly coming back into him.

“Thanks, dad. I’m glad treatment is going well for you.” I replied, keeping a straight face. A wind gust blew through the window, shaking the small fern he had set in a pot. It was wilted, green only towards the bottom.

“So will you help me figure out these bills?” He asked, eyeing the stack of mail by his desk. Legal fees, insurance, and other letters stood there, seemingly taunting him.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I’ll do it.”

 

Walking through the cold metal doors of the facility, I feel my face grow heavy. I felt stuffed to the brim with emotions. Pain. Hurt. Sadness. Confusion. I couldn’t see anything, just blurry outlines of the waiting rooms and beige walls. Tears trickled down my face, dropping to the floor. I looked around desperately for Sam, needing to leave before the walls fully caved in around me. He wasn’t there. I peeked into the next room. Nothing. I left the building, hoping to feel the sun on my skin. It had fully left, replaced with darker gray and blue clouds. I let out a choked sob, holding my hands on my forehead. I tried to focus on my breathing, to steady it, but it came out staggered. 

“Zalia?” I heard Sam say. I whipped around and saw him, a bag in his hand.

“Where the fuck did you go?” I yelled, running over to him.

“To the shops down the street? They had a rec-”

I interrupted him by crashing into his chest, wrapping my arms around him, crying softly. He dropped the bag and followed suit, rubbing my back as I cried into him. It began to rain.

 

~ 

We sat in the living room, looking at each other in disbelief. No one said a thing. The phone was disconnected to the receiver, on the floor, next to the table of half eaten food. Arie spoke up, each word coming out slowly. 

“When?” 

“Four days ago.” My dad said, staring at the wall. “In the bombing.”

I looked at my sister. She looked at me. That day she caught me looking through our mom’s files. We both had a feeling this was it. A single tear fell from Arie’s eye. She never cried.

My grandfather came to my side, hugging me. Another few minutes passed, our family of four silently crying. My father got up and grabbed a bottle of whiskey.

“Now Will,” My grandfather whispered. “Not in front of the girls.” 

My father ignored him, chugging the bottle. Arie got up and walked up to him, slowly. We had never seen him drink more than a glass of wine. He walked around her and left the house.

Hours later, we got the other call. 

Arie swore she heard the crash, but I always doubted it. My grandfather had been talking to us, all spread out in his bedroom. It was the screams that we heard coming from our neighbor's house. Followed by police sirens shortly after.

My father had rammed our family car into my neighbor’s oak tree. During a picnic party, no less. Once in college, I looked over the police reports. It was a five-year-old’s birthday party. The pinata was there, shaped like a heart. They almost started, had it not been for her tantrum to open gifts first. He just kept driving straight. His stare was blank, unaware of his surroundings. That’s what our neighbor said.. We had been long family friends, so they didn’t press charges, but they did settle out of court. Luckily, no one was injured. My grandfather, heartbroken from the death of my mother and the loss of my father’s sanity, sent him to the mental health facility and died days later. We were alone. My mother never came home, like I kept hoping she would. 

~

I drove, looking straight at the road as tears continued to roll down my face. Sam’s face was pale, staring at the road in disbelief.

“That must have been really terrible, Zalia. I am so sorry.” Sam whispered, holding my hand tightly.

“Yeah, it’s cool, I guess,” I said, forcing a small smile.  
“You don’t have to pretend it is.” He replied, looking at me. I made the turn into Pelican Town, grateful for the familiar dirt roads. This time, the community was out and about, heading to the saloon for the night. I wiped my face and continued driving, ignoring the looks we received. 

We crossed the bridge to the beach and drove to the tide pools. I parked the car where we found it and slid out, tossing the keys to Sam. 

“Thank you. For everything.” I said, wiping my face once again. “I’m going to chill here, for a bit. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I’ll stay with you.” He said, walking over to me. I didn’t argue, walking towards the beach. The sun was beginning to set slowly. I was thankful we didn’t make it back too late, as I always had a hard time driving at night. 

I sat in the sand, peeling off my shoes and setting them aside. Sam sat next to me as we watched the sea. I wanted the tide to come in. I wanted to be swallowed into the ocean, to sink to the bottom. 

Sam scooted closer to me, our bodies touching. He wrapped his arm around me. I rested my head on his shoulder. The tide slowly came in, reflecting the moon and the stars right at our feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry it took this long to post this...and that its a super short chapter. i have had the worst writers block and i have been sad lately, so this chapter def reflects that. i have some plans for the next few chapters i am hoping to implement soon! thank you all for reading.


	9. Moonlight Jellies

The town was quieter than usual. Other than the fact it was Sunday, which was the sleepiest day of the week. Most of the older adults were focused on getting ready for the Dance of the Moonlight Jellies. It was a town favorite, even the youth rallying up for the event happily. Abigail had told me about it weeks before, recalling childhood memories of her attempting to scoop up the creatures with her hands.

Hype aside, I had remembered coming to this event as a child with my grandfather. I was always too shy to mingle with the townspeople, so we would hang in the tide pools, splashing water on our feet and awaiting the glow of the jellies. It would be the first one I would be attending without my grandfather, however, and I woke up the day of feeling that pain. Letting myself sleep in was a good idea, for sure. I crawled under the bed and scooped up one of his old sweaters - a brown and blue patterned wool one, and wore it as I headed to the barn, collecting the milk for the day. 

Just as I approached the door, I heard two small voices coming from the inside.

“Don’t get on top of it! You’re not supposed to do that!” A girl cried. I opened the door and met the faces of Jas and Vincent. Vincent had climbed on a bale of hair, ready to jump on one of the cows. They both looked at me, wide-eyed.

“What are you two doing here?” I asked playfully. Vincent relaxed slightly and jumped off the bale.

“Sam told me you had cows and we wanted to see them, miss.” Vincent said. His eyes glossed over slightly, prepared to cry if I yelled. Instead, I chuckled and patted the cow gently. She mooed.

“Cows aren’t made for riding, but it wouldn’t hurt to try,” I said, opening up my arms for Vincent. He eagerly hopped into my arms. I scooped him up and placed him on the cow. “This is Pluto. She’s the most gentle one.”

“I want one!” Jas whined. I walked her over to a smaller one, Mars. She looked at me and nestled her nose into my palm, awaiting a snack.

“Mars is always hungry. She won’t eat you, though. I promise.” I said. Jas pet the cow gently, stroking her dark brown fur. The children's’ squealed echoed around the hollow halls of the barn. The soft tapping of the animals moving around complimented the noises peacefully. I watched as the kids ran around the barn while working on my morning chores before my head popped up from the automated, staring at the kids wide-eyed.

“Don’t you two have school today?” 

~  
Tucked into a small booth in the corner of the Saloon, there were heated debates on the types of jellies that were seen during the Dance.

“I promise you. If you look hard enough, there’s a green one.” Sebastian argued. Abigail and Sam rolled their eyes.

“I’ve never seen it.” Sam said smugly. 

“Sebastian is right. Even I have seen it.” I said. Sam turned to me, wide-eyed.

“What? When?” Abigail gasped. “I mean, I know you’ve visited here before and all, but...how did you see it and I didn’t?”

“It’s because you never pay attention to anything,” Sebastian teased, nudging Abigail playfully. 

“Sebastian and Zalia can show us tonight,” Sam suggested. 

As the conversation drifted, I thought about my grandfather and I’s time watching the jellies. He would give me a small amount of money if I found the rare green one. On the way back to the city, he would take me to a candy store and let me buy a chocolate bar with it. I made a mental note in my head to buy some candy tomorrow at Pierre’s as I buy fall seeds.

“Are you ready, Zalia?” Sam asked. I nodded, still entranced in my childhood memories. We headed down to the beach, slightly buzzed from the beer we had sipped on. Sam and I walked side-by-side, bumping into each other every couple of steps.

“I meant to tell you earlier - we got a letter from my dad,” Sam said quietly. I turned to him and grinned.

“That’s great, Sam! Is he okay?” I asked. He couldn’t hide the small smile he was attempting to hold in, nodding happily.

“He is good! The explosion happened a few miles away from him. He is shaken up from it, but he is hopeful the war will end soon.” 

I reached out and placed my hand on his arm. He smiled softly at the touch. I felt my hand slowly melting into his skin, making us one. 

“I am really happy to hear that,” I said. We crossed the bridge to the beach, following the crowds of people walking towards the docks. I dropped my hand back down beside his, attempting to listen to Abigail and Sebastian’s new argument. As Sam and I’s bodies touched again, his hand brushed mine softly. I felt myself tracing his fingers before quickly pulling away, breaking out of my trance. I felt myself getting so used to being near him. It was a dangerous feeling. 

Once we got to the docks, they began to walk to the farther side of the docks. I stopped in my tracks, almost bumping into Shane. The three stopped and looked in my direction.

“What’s the hold-up, Z?” Abigail called.

“I...I feel like I should go watch where my grandfather and I used to watch,” I said nervously. “It’s weird, but I think I will feel better that way.”

“Are you sure? We’ll probably spot the green jelly here.” Sebastian said. I nodded my head.

“You guys don’t have to come, I trust you’ll find it on your own. I kind of want to be alone, anyway.” I said. I waved at them and turned towards the shore. I heard footsteps behind me, knocking against the wooden docks loudly. I whipped my head around to see Sam jogging towards me.

“Don’t go alone. I’ll come.” He said, panting slightly.

“What if they see the green jelly?” I teased. He rolled his eyes, walking along the dock with me. 

“I don’t actually care that much.” He chuckled.

“Where are you two going?” A voice called. I turned around to see Jodi watching us, eyebrows arched.

“Just to the shore, mom. It’s crowded here.” Sam said with a slightly annoyed tone. 

“Okay. Meet me here after the event is over so we can walk Vincent home.” Jodi said, still raising her eyebrows. Sam rolled his eyes and fast-walked towards the shoreline. 

“Is that your grandpa’s sweater?” Sam asked. We walked along the shore, letting the water run through our toes.

“Yeah. I miss him.” I said softly.

“My mom told me that he left the farm so suddenly. The town was confused as to why he left.” Sam said, picking up a shell. He handed it to me. It was a soft pink clamshell. 

“When my mom died, he came to help take care of us,” I explained, crossing the bridge to the tide pools. “He thought it would just be a month, but he passed shortly after, as you know.” 

“Everyone is glad you are here,” Sam said. “Especially me.”

I looked up at him, observing his gentle expression. His eyes were on me, looking into mine. It was dark outside, the moon hidden by some stray clouds, but the sky color of his eyes was still vibrant. Cheers erupted from the docks, causing Sam and I to turn towards their direction. Mayor Lewis cast the lights out into the sea, causing everyone to crowd towards the edges of the docks. Sam and I sat on a boulder near the shore, bodies touching slightly as we looked into the sea. After the boats were set out, everyone grew silent. It was slightly ominous, the way everyone hushed immediately. Even the children stood perfectly still, holding onto their parents as they squinted into the dark waters. We waited for several minutes, watching the waves gently crash onto the shore.

Slowly, luminescent jellies move towards the shore. They edged the docks slyly, clustering in small groups as they moved around. Gasps of admirations filled the air, along with a tinge of suspense as everyone waiting for the green jellies. I looked at Sam, who looked into the ocean with an intense stare. Suddenly, he gasped and grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly.

“Look, there’s a baby one!” He whispered. Surely enough, the baby jelly inched towards us, along with two bigger ones. The baby one was barely the size of my hand and lighter pink than the rest. He kept his hand on mine as we observed.

“It’s so cute,” I breathed out. Dozens of more jellies came closer to us, a few more babies as well. I was in awe. I spent the whole day thinking about my grandfather that I forgot about the event itself. It seemed as if the entire sea was glowing.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a strangely colored jelly. I turned my head, accidentally bumping into Sam in the process.

“Ow!” Sam exclaimed, looking at me. I pointed at the green jelly, watching it float towards us.

“Shut up and look!! Green jelly!” I said excitedly. Sam didn’t look though, keeping his eyes on me.

“Sam, seriously, look!” I cried out. I attempted to grab his face and push it towards the sea. He smiled, moving his hands onto mine. He stared into me for a second before moving towards me quickly, pressing his lips onto mine. I stumbled back for a second from the force, moving my hands to his shoulders. He quickly moved his to my back, rebalancing me. I kissed him back instantly, trying to close any distance between us. His lips were slightly chapped but softened as we deepened the kiss. I could smell the hair gel he wore every day as well as a slight cologne. I was dizzy with emotions. I wanted him. He wanted me. The warmth in my chest widens as he moved one of his hands to cup my cheek. No one had ever kissed me like this before. I felt the passion radiating from both of us, wanting this to last forever. Sitting under the moon, with the waves crashing beneath us, the world glowing around us.

Exclamations and cheers from the town grabbed our attention. I slowly pulled away and turned towards them. 

“They must have found the green one,” Sam chuckled, wrapping his arms around me.

“Everyone has seen it but you,” I teased. He rested his head on mine.

“That’s fine. I’m glad I kissed you instead,” He said. I relaxed into him. We watched as the jellies slowly moved towards the sea, beginning their long journey. As the townspeople walked off of the docks, I tilted my head up and kissed his cheek.

“Go meet your family,” I said. He sighed, getting up. I followed him as we walked towards the bridge.

“Sam! Sam! Did you see it! Did you see the green one?” Vincent exclaimed. Sam chuckled and walked towards him, patting his head.

“Yeah! It was pretty cool,” Sam said. He looked at me and grinned, amusement in his eyes. I laughed. 

“Come on, Vincent. It’s past your bedtime,” Jodi said, holding Vincent’s hand. She turned to me.

“Good night, Zalia.” She said, smiling. “I hope you had a good night.”

“I did, thank you,” I said. Sam smiled again. “Good night, you guys.”

“Good night, Z.” Sam said. They walked towards their house. I walked up through the town, behind Pierre’s family. Despite Abigail’s constant complaining about her parents, they seemed to get along well tonight, laughing and talking excitably as they walked towards their home. Everyone seemed to be connected and joyful tonight. Even Clint smiled as he waved good night to Emily and Haley.

As I walked past the bus stop, I looked at the sky. The clouds had moved away from the moon, making it visible to me. I was happy. I was beyond happy. Over the moon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont know if this counts as slow burn anymore but i got tired of the anticipation!!! i hope you all had a great week :-)


	10. Beach Night

I could still feel his lips as I crawled into bed that night. The taste of him - warm, radiant Sam. I felt as if I was glowing, just like the jellies we watched. It was almost two in the morning - I knew I should go to bed soon. I just didn’t want to wake up and forget the feeling of his lips pressed on mine. My eyes were heavy enough to call it a night, I drifted off, fingers gently resting on my lips as I thought about Sam’s face.

~ 

As I walked towards Pierre’s the following morning, I eyed Sam’s house. It was quiet in town, aside from Marnie and I making a beeline towards the store. As I entered, I noticed Abigail stocking cans in the back. I wonder if she knew.

“Good morning, Abby,” I said, reaching behind her to grab some seeds.

“Zalia! Can you help me reach this shelf? You’re taller than I am,” Abigail pleaded. I helped her stock the cans, making small conversation about the weather.

“I think we should head to the beach tonight. It’s one of the last days the weather will be sort of nice, according to Sebastian. Do you mind telling Sam to meet us tonight?” She asked. 

“Sure, I’ll stop by on the way home,” I said, lugging my basket of seeds towards the register. Pierre rang me up, delighted by the amount of gold I had to fish out of my pocket. I headed out towards Sam’s house. I could see the top of his head as he practiced skate tricks in the front yard. His hair bounced slightly as he flipped the board under his feet, skating across the street. I shouted his name, jogging over. He turned to me, nearly losing his balance in the process.

“You scared me,” He chuckled, propping the skateboard over his legs.

“My bad,” I said. We stood there, listening to the wind blow through the trees.

“How are you?” Sam asked slowly. The tension was awkward but familiar. I was comfortable enough with Sam to accept it, knowing that we have left the friendship zone.

“I’m busy,” I said, holding up the basket of seeds. “It’s fall time.”

“That’s fun.” He said. He stepped closer to me, a blush creeping onto his face as he kissed my forehead. Finally. “I missed you.” 

“Isn’t your mom going to see us?” I asked, accepting his embrace.

“She’s at Caroline’s.” He tilted my head up and gave me a short, but sweet kiss. I smiled, reaching for his cheek.

“Abigail wants us to go to the beach tonight,” I said. He nodded, moving his hand around my waist.

“Okay. I get out of work at five. Come pick me up?” He asked. I nodded, stepping back.

“I will. But I really have to start on this, otherwise, I’ll be late.” I said. I turned on my heel, beginning to walk towards my house. “I’ll see you later.”

“Bye, Z.” He said. I didn’t turn back. I heard the sound of him rolling his skateboard around the pebbled path, zooming back towards his house. 

~ 

By the time the sun began to set, the rows of crops I had been planting were finally full. Mounds of dirt watched me as I entered my farm, stripping myself of my clothes and jumping into the shower. The sun was beginning to set, the walls of my house reflected by its golden rays, a pink tint to the land surrounding me. Everything seemed romantic as I thought about Sam and his warmth. The thought of seeing him made my body feel full. I dressed in a casual outfit and set out, grabbing a bottle of wine on the way out of the cabin.

As I walked into town, I saw Abigail leaving her house, a black backpack on her shoulders as she made a beeline towards the beach. I ran up to her, making small talk as we crossed the town.

“Why have you been so...excited today?” Abigail asked as we stepped onto the bridge. I blushed slightly, looking away from her.

“I’m just happy,” I said.

“Just happy, my ass. Did you have sex or something?” She smirked. I looked at her in disbelief and swatted her playfully.

“Abigail! No!” I gasped. “I’m just...happy.”

“I’m glad you’re ‘happy’ and all, but if it’s sex that’s making you happy then you should absolutely tell me,” She said. We took off our shoes and left them as we trotted through the sand.

“I will tell you. But it’s not sex, just a kiss is all,” I said. Abigail looked at me, eyebrows raised. I figured I could trust her not to tell anyone. Maybe Sebastian. I don’t really mind that. Hopefully, Sam won’t, either.

“I...I knew it.” She declared.   
“No, you didn’t,” I argued. She nodded. 

“That night you guys were in Maru’s room! I knew that you guys weren’t just friends!” She laughed. I looked up to see Sam and Sebastian crossing the bridge.

“Shut up! Just...don’t be weird about it,” I begged. She smirked again and nodded simply.

“Hey, guys,” Sam said, holding a picnic blanket. We greeted him as he spread it down, all of us climbing on. I sat down first, facing the beach. He sat on the opposite corner, closer to Sebastian. A small part of me felt a little hurt, but I dismissed it quickly.

We pooled together the alcohol. One melon wine from me, a six-pack of beer from Abigail, half a bottle of mead from Sebastian. Sam took the six-pack, opening one and took a long sip. 

I spent all night eyeing him. He did the complete opposite - talking to only Sebastian and Abigail, occasionally laughing at a joke I would make. Abigail continued to flash me confused glances, leaving me to visibly sulk in embarrassment. 

“Parents were fighting again,” Sebastian said, lighting a cigarette. The moon was glowing against the ocean, the waves gently washing up against the shore. I could spot the seashells tumbling against the sand. “Maru got in a fight with mom over some dumb shit, Demetrius, of course, took Maru’s side.”

“Of course he did. She is such a daddy’s girl,” Abigail said, snatching Sebastian’s cigarette. “I’m almost glad my dad hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Sebastian said. “He’s just...Pierre.” 

“I guess. I don’t know how my mom deals with him.” Abigail sighed. She opened another can of beer, mindlessly taking a swing. “Imagine being married. Just in general. Sounds like a trip.” 

“Sounds terrible,” Sebastian said. “The picket fence bullshit. Especially in a small town.”

Sam spoke up, finishing the last of his drink. “Being in a relationship in this town sounds complicated too,”

My heart sunk. Abigail looked at me again, eyes slightly wide. 

“Yeah. I like what we have, Abby.” Sebastian said, wrapping his arm around her. Abigail’s eyes were still on me as she thought of a way to change the subject.

“So who is excited for the Valley Fair next week?”

I remained silent for the rest of the night, taking long swings of melon wine until I felt the familiar dizziness throughout my body. As midnight approached, Abigail muttered a comment on how her dad would want her home soon. We gathered the blanket and leftover bottles, walking towards the shore.

“Want me to walk you home?” Sam asked, trailing behind me. I didn’t turn back, attempting to walk faster.

“No, it’s fine. I’m fine.” I said.

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes.” I said, clearly annoyed. I bit my lip, not wanting to come off as angry. Maybe I shouldn’t be mad. Maybe I’m just tipsy. Or he doesn’t want to date.

He stopped walking. As much as I wanted to leave him there on the edge of the bridge, confused and hurt, just as I was, I couldn’t. I stopped and turned to him.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice low. 

“Nothing.”

“Zalia. Please.” He said. I could hear how tired he was in his voice. He had mentioned before that he likes to go to bed early. Vincent and Jodi are asleep by 8:30, leaving him in a dark, silent house. 

“Do you even want to date?” I asked, trying to keep my voice down. I could see Emily and Haley still had their lights on.

He paused for a moment, not saying anything. I felt my heart drop again. I could barely make out his facial expression before widening his eyes in realization. 

“ _Oh. _” He said simply. He walked over to me quickly, grabbing my hands. “Of course. I really do. I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that. I’m an idiot. I used to think that before I met you, I just- I’m an idiot.”__

__I rested my head on his chest, saying nothing. Why was I so insecure about this?_ _

__“We’ll talk more about this tomorrow, okay? My mom will probably hear me and come outside any minute.” He said, lightly stroking my hair. I melted into him, sighing as I pulled myself off._ _

__“Okay.”_ _

__He smiled, squeezing my hand before walking towards his house._ _

__I waved, stumbling towards the farmhouse. Though no one was around, I felt myself smiling. My cheeks hurt, but I couldn’t stop. I was hopelessly into Sam and I couldn’t control it. I almost hated it. Almost._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woooo another chapter! hope you enjoyed this one, if anyone is even reading still.


	11. Cinnamon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi sorry this chapter took a while! i work two part time jobs. also im adding a warning to the story now...im so sorry i have to do this to you.

Cinnamon. That’s what I tasted as I kissed Sam. Cinnamon mints, like the ones put by the register at Joja Mart. I kissed him deeper, craving the spice as his lips clashed with mine. I leaned against a strong maple tree, one I had tried to chop weeks ago but failed at. Instead, I felt the indent against my lower back as Sam hovered over me. I felt like a teenager, sneaking around with Sam during his break at work. I had never ventured behind the JojaMart, always attempting to steer clear of the dreaded shop now that I had some extra cash. Now I had Sam - well, almost - the building wasn’t as intimidating. Sam’s warmth provided me with extra comfort, especially now that he was so close to me, hands running around my back. He didn’t have to say anything for me to know that he wasn’t as experienced. Though we were the same age, he grew up in the Valley, attending a small high school half an hour away. He certainly knew how to kiss, keeping his lips distant enough for me to crave more, teasing me ever so slightly.

A door opened, causing him to jump back quickly. It was just Shane, walking the opposite direction to light a cigarette. 

“Got carried away there, I guess,” Sam muttered, his cheeks red. I smiled, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. He looked back sheepishly before turning and smiling. “I should get back. I only have an hour left, though.”

“I’ll wait at the library, no worries,” I beamed. Sam had promised we would talk about our relationship and despite the awkwardness - I needed to know how he felt about us.

He kissed my cheek before jogging back inside. It was chilly today. Joja had sent the employees of Pelican Town hoodies, but they were as thin as their uniforms. I could see the goosebumps on Sam’s arms rising each second we stood out there. 

I walked around the Mart, heading towards the museum. My lips were swollen, cinnamon still on my tongue as I entered, heading towards the library. I selected a random book to ease my mind before sinking into the couch beside the shelf, learning about the history of the Valley.

I heard the familiar creak of the door as Sam stepped in. The wood echoed along with his footsteps as they grew towards me. I looked up to see he had changed into a warmer sweatshirt - a deep red one with some colorful logo on the corner. 

“You look much warmer,” I teased.

“Much so,” He said, tugging the sleeves. “Let’s grab coffee, though, for extra measure.” 

~

The heat radiated off of my palms as I held the small brown cup in my hand. Light sugar, medium cream, a dash of cinnamon. The way I grew up drinking it. The taste was richer than the coffee we got at the supermarket in the city, but it was welcomed to my tastebuds. 

We sat at the bench in front of the Saloon, listening to the sounds of fall. 

“I want to be with you,” Sam said, a slight hesitation in his voice. He was nervous. I was nervous. “My mom loves you. My dad is going to love you when he comes home.”

“That’s sweet,” I mumbled, taking a sip. “I want to be with you, also.”

“I just...this sounds stupid,” He sighed, looking around. It was quiet in the town, as it was a Tuesday evening. Aside from Shane slipping into the Saloon after his shift, it was empty. “I just, want my dad to meet you.”

My heart dropped slightly. He seemed to notice my expression, as he quickly continued.

“Obviously, I don’t know - we don’t know when he will return. I just want him to know about you,” He said, pulling out a piece of paper. He handed it to me, uncrinkling it gently. It was a confirmation receipt from the post office, stating a letter had been sent to the military base. “The night we kissed, I wrote about you to my dad. We were really close and all, before he left. I just, wanted him to know you existed before we started officially dating. Before we tell people. I want him to be the first to know.”

I nodded, not saying anything for a moment. It was understandable, knowing how much Sam and Vincent loved their dad. It wasn’t like we needed to rush anything, given that it was still my first year in the Valley.

“Sure,” I smiled. “Take all of the time you need.”

“Thank you, Z. I really mean it,” Sam grinned, shining ear to ear. I could sense a rush of relief by the way his cheeks flushed suddenly, followed by a sigh. “Do you want to do something tonight?”

“Like what?” I asked. There wasn’t much to do in town, at least compared to the city life, which Sam and I were both all the familiar yet. If he didn’t want to cause any suspicion, that left an even smaller amount of things to do.

“I dunno,” Sam said, wiping dirt off of his legs. “You could teach me how to fish.”

I nearly choked on my coffee, setting it down and laughing. “What? Why?”

Sam rolled his eyes playfully. “Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just...confused.” I giggled. 

“I just want to try it. My dad told me he would fish with his dad. Sometimes he would go out and bring home fish for my mom’s famous fish casserole.” He said, voice softening at the mention of his dad. “I know that you’re good at it, from what the townies say.”

I had heard his mom’s fish casserole was the best in the region. My stomach rumbled at the thought of it.

“Sure, I would love to teach you,” I said, finishing my coffee. It was lukewarm, yet I still felt the heat radiating through my body. Maybe it was just Sam that made me feel that way.

“Okay. How’s seven?” He asked, getting up. “I have to go soon, it’s dinnertime.”

“Seven works nicely,” I smiled at him. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it before waving and walking towards his house. 

I had always felt so confident in how I presented myself. I was never one to shy away from anyone I was attracted to, but with Sam, fuck, it was different. I felt shy and giggly like a teenager. My cheeks felt permanently red, thinking of him as I mindlessly worked on farm chores, buying groceries, walking past his house to go to the beach. Being his friend was one thing, but having this thing was something else for me. As I furthered his presence, I automatically grew chillier, goosebumps spreading through my body. I already missed him.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice Abigail shouting my name until I heard her footsteps following me.

“Hey!” She shouted, catching up to me. “What’s up?”

“Hey, Abby,” I smiled softly. I hadn’t talked to her since that embarrassing night.

“I wanted to make sure you’re okay,” She said, walking us towards the town’s fountain. “Things must be confusing with Sam.”

“It’s nothing,” I said, setting my stuff down on the bench. “It’s just a crush. It’ll go away.”

She tilted her head, eyes looking at me in pity.

“It was a drunk kiss, that’s all.” I clarified. 

“Sebastian and I used to drunk kiss all of the time, you know,” Abigail began, smoothing out her skirt. She then dove into a story, something about Sebastian’s mom walking in. Something like that. My thoughts were once again clouded, silently hoping for the sun to set so I could see him again...

“...Anyways. You’ll be okay. There’s always Alex. I know he thinks you’re cute.” Abigail finished, getting up and patting me on the head. “I gotta run! Bye, Zalia.”

Before I could even reply, Abigail jogged back towards town. I looked up and saw her dad watching her, arms crossed. She had mentioned before how strict Pierre was, with her being his only daughter, I guess it made sense. I watched as they disappeared into their house before getting up and continuing my treck home.

I felt bad about lying to Abigail about Sam, but I knew this was how he wanted it to be. He seemed confident that his father would return his letter soon, so I knew there wouldn’t be much waiting. Eventually, I would meet the man in the pictures all over his home, which I know would fill Sam with joy.

Eventually.

~

I knocked lightly on Sam’s home, hoping Jodi wouldn’t answer. After the comments she had made the last few times we hung out, I wasn’t looking for more questions to dodge. Instead, the door crept open a tiny bit, Vincent looking up at me with watery eyes.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him, kneeling. He wiped his eyes and gazed at me, his lips trembling.

“Mom won’t let me go to my room until I finish my vegetables.” He said, voice breaking. Suddenly, Sam appeared at the door, grabbing Vincent’s hand.

“Hey, vegetables aren’t that bad. I ate mine.” He said. Vincent didn’t look convinced, crossing his arms in defiance.

“If you eat your vegetables, I’ll bring you a candy tomorrow.” He said. Vincent gave a small smile, appearing to agree with the deal. From the kitchen, Jodi shouted Vincent’s name angrily. He wiped his face again and stomped back inside. 

Sam closed the door behind him. “Sorry about that, he’s just being...well...Vincent,” He said. 

“I’m definetly still Vincent. I hate vegetables.” I joked, handing him a fishing pole.

“Come on, veggies aren’t that bad.” Sam chuckled, squeezing my hand. We walked down to the beach in silence. It wasn’t late, so many of the townspeople were still up, walking around town.

Once we approached the dock, I headed towards the boulder. The dock creaked lightly with both of us standing on the same wooden panels. 

“This is where I usually fish. I think it’s pretty deep here, it’s where all the good fish are,” I said. I pulled out a jar of bait, grabbing Sam’s pole and sliding it in. He watched silently. I handed it back to him, guiding his hands into the right spots. The pole was worn from its age, I had pawned it from Willy’s a while back. There were slight grooves in the wooden rod from previous owners gripping it in desperation. It fit in Sam’s hands perfectly. I noticed the unusual softness from his fingertips, nicely moisturized. I pressed my lips to his cheek gently. The warmth from his face felt nice, as the ocean provided a chilly atmosphere. 

“Okay, what now?” He said, his vibrant blue eyes staring at me blankly.

“Swing it!” I said. With that, I swung my fishing pole as hard as I could, landing ten feet in front of us. He attempted to follow suit, his line casting only three feet. He sighed in defeat.

“I’m not going to get any fish now,” He grumbled. I laughed and rested my head on his.

“You still can. Be patient.” I said, looking out into the ocean.

“You’re being so affectionate tonight,” He smiled, planting a kiss on my forehead. “Can’t get enough of me?”

I immediately took a step back, playfully glaring at him. He followed me, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me closer.

“I’m kidding, babe.” He said, resting his chin on my head. 

“I’m just happy, is all,” I said, still keeping my eyes on the sea. “I’m happy we are here, fishing, in the dark. Together.”

“Me too,” Sam said. “I’m happy I have you.”

I felt a tug on my rod. I let go and began reeling in quickly. He watched in awe as I pulled out a medium-sized sea cucumber. 

“Ew, what is that?” He asked. I unhooked the fish and held it up to him.

“Sea cucumber. Isn’t it cute?” I smirked, watching his disgusted face.

“That looks like a...dick. A sea dick.” He sighed. I laughed, unhooking the cucumber and tossing it back in the water.  
“That was so disgusting, I don’t think fishing is for me.” He said, bringing his line back in. 

“I didn’t take you for the squeamish type,” I giggled.

“I don’t like gross things! That’s all.” He protested. “When my mom gets a fresh fish from Willy, I have to leave the house. I can’t even be in it. I hate the ice-fishing competition. The smell is awful.”

“Sounds like you just hate the idea of fish.” 

“Maybe. But thank you for teaching me. I can tell my dad I caught a sea pickle with you.” He sat down on the dock, resting the fishing pole behind him. 

“Sea cucumber.” I corrected him.

“Same thing.” He said, suddenly pulling me to him and kissing me. I melted into him, moving as close as I could to his body. It was gentle and sweet, the way our lips moved to the rhythm of the ocean.

Cinnamon, again. How does he always taste like cinnamon?


	12. Missed Call

The next few weeks were light and airy. Almost like a pancake. I felt as if my feet were off the ground. It was winter, meaning there weren’t too many chores to be done, leaving me to spend more time with Sam. Cold winter nights, cuddling on the couch as we watched whatever Vincent had on the TV. While Sam hasn’t said much to his mother, Jodi welcomed me a little extra every time I came over. It had only been two and a half weeks since we started seeing each other, but he was always on my schedule.

After a bubbly night at the Saloon with friends, we had stumbled upon the fountain, clinging onto each other as if we might be pulled apart. 

“I’m so grateful you are here, Z.” Sam said, brushing his head on my neck. “Don’t ever leave.”

“I won’t.” I said simply. We sat in silence, watching the gentle waves of the fountain. Smooth sailing. Peacefulness. The quiet town could hear the buzzing of a new relationship. Everything was light and airy. 

~

I turned off my alarm before I crawled into bed. I had gotten home in the middle of the night, unconcerned about the farm. Winter is easy, I remembered my grandfather telling me. Once you figure out how to automate the animal barns, you’ll have nothing else to do but wander around. 

I finally rose at 9:30. The sky was a cool, dark gray. Darker than usual. Maybe it would sleet. I poured myself a cup of coffee and instinctively walked to the phone. The floor was colder than usual, my toes curling as I stepped around the house. I dialed Sam’s number as I usually did and waiting for his voice. 

I waited. Took another sip. 

Nothing. Just the automated answering machine. 

Strange. He is typically awake by this time. If not, someone in the house was. I finished the cup, waiting for the warm drink to cure my nervousness. It tasted bitter on my tongue. I couldn’t taste the cream anymore.

Something had to be off, right? Maybe they went early morning shopping. I remembered Sam saying that he wanted to learn how to cook. Yet I felt something weird. A small pit in the bottom of my stomach.

I dialed Abigail’s house. 

“Pierre speaking, how can I help you?” Pierre answered. 

“Hi, it’s Zalia,” I replied. “Is Abby there?”

“Sure is. Just woke up, too. Let me get her.” Pierre said cooly. I heard him shout for her, footsteps following.

“Hey, Z. What’s up?” She said cheerfully.

“Is Sam there? Or any of his family? No one answered my call.”

“Huh. That’s weird. I didn’t see them in the shop. You can come over and we can walk to his house together.” She said. 

“Okay,” I sighed into the receiver. “Am I being weird? Is this stalkerish?”

“No,” She chuckled. “He would act the same towards you. Just get over here.”

I shuffled as quickly as I could, stepping over puddles of ice and snow. As I walked past the bus stop, I spotted a person. They faced the bus, hands in pockets. They almost seemed like a ghost, wearing a black coat in contrast to the white snow. Anxiety flashed in me. I attempted to reassure myself. Maybe it was one of the townspeople heading out to the city. Who else would be here?

The town was empty, as per usual on days such as this. A light icy drizzle began, making me feel colder than before. I swung Pierre’s door open, recoiling from its cool touch. Pierre was at the produce, checking for expired fruits. I waved before quickly walking towards Abby’s room. She sat on her bed, picking at her nails. 

“You okay?” She asked, peering up slightly. She picked at a hangnail. Blood seeped from her thumb.

“Yeah,” I said blankly. I watched the blood drip down her finger. She dabbed it with a tissue.

“Let’s go, then.” She said, getting up. The blood made me slightly dizzy. Everything moved a little bit faster than normal. 

I walked behind her. As we left the house, the chill of the air hit me harder than before. Goosebumps took over my body. I peered into Harvey’s clinic. Empty. Not even Maru was there. I wonder where they were. I thought the clinic was open on weekends. 

Sam’s house looked normal enough. It’s blue panels frosted from the sleet, snow on the roof, just like all of the others. The blinds, however, were drawn. All of them. Even the ones in Sam’s room. 

“Are those always like that?” I asked, pointing at the windows.

Abigail hesitated for a second. “I don’t think so.” 

There was a slight edge to her voice.  
We walked up and knocked on the door. There wasn’t an answer. Abigail pressed an ear to the door.

“I can hear footsteps, I think,” Abby whispered. “But not near the door.”

Panicked, I knocked harder. Almost pounded. What was going on?

Nothing. 

“Something is going on. Maybe we should give them some space.” Abigail said, resting a hand on my shoulder. I stood at the door, not moving. Her voice felt like it was a hundred miles away. I began to realize the reality of the situation.I didn’t feel like I was in Pelican Town anymore. A giant field, maybe. An emptiness that held me in its box. I knew if someone answered the door, I would get the answer I didn’t want to get. It filled the pit of my stomach with a heaviness. 

The door opened. Abigail and I looked up. Jodi stood in front of us, eyes red. Her signature braid was unraveled, strands of hair sticking out wildly. She held the door with both hands, trembling. 

She wore a black dress. 

“Now is not a good time, ladies. I’m sorry,” She whispered, voice breaking. She closed the door before either of us could react. 

As the door closed, the heaviness of the house hit Abigail and I. The weight was unbearable. Abigail burst into tears immediately. I held her and guided us back to the shop.

“I thought...” She sobbed into me. I nodded.

“Me too.” 

~

I didn’t want to be around the town. They gathered at Pierre’s as soon as Abigail and I came back, faces bright red, frozen tears sticking to our faces. Pierre didn’t even have to ask. I think he may have seen it coming. 

“It was always a ticking time bomb,” Pierre sighed as he dialed Harvey’s number. “That poor family.”

I wanted to see him. To hold him. Have him sob on my shoulder. Comfort him. I needed to see him. I could picture him in the black button-up shirt I saw once in his closet, sitting on the edge of his bed, crying. His blue eyes a deeper hue as tears fell onto the wooden floor.

“I did see a man walk into town today. Didn’t recognize ‘em. Assumed it was a family member. He was wearing a super fancy coat, though.” George said, sitting against the wall.

“That’s what they do,” Caroline said in a low voice. “They send someone from the military, wearing dark clothes. Better than a letter, I guess.”

A sigh echoed the room, followed by condolences. How unfortunate. They were such a beautiful family. Vincent will be devastated. Other things like that. 

“I, I have to go,” I said, standing up suddenly. “I’ll..I’ll see everyone later,”

Abigail looked at me confused for a brief second. She then recognized my pained face and nodded. 

The man was gone when I walked by the bus stop. Maybe that’s why Pam wasn’t there earlier. I wonder if she figured it out.

Once I got home, I dialed their house again. Told them if they needed anything to call me. It didn’t feel real, like I was talking to myself. I put the phone back on the receiver gently and crawled into bed.

All I could do for now was sleep. I closed my eyes, waiting for the dread to sink off my body like an anchor. 

Nothing changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp. here it is. these next two chapters will be the hardest. sorry. it'll get better tho!!


	13. Funeral

The bed sunk deeper each hour I laid in it. I could feel the dent as I tossed and turned. The farmhouse was silent. I couldn’t even hear the animals in their barns. It was like they knew, too. The buzz of the silence was driving me insane, but I bathed in it. All I wanted to hear was the familiar ringing of the telephone. Sam telling me to come over. Telling me everything was okay, his father is fine. 

Instead, I got a handwritten letter from Lewis last night. Slipped under my door, as if he knew I didn’t have the energy to go outside. 

_Funeral_  
___In Honor of Kent Campbell ___  
_Fearless soldier, father, a friend of Stardew Valley ___  
_Please meet us at Town Square_  
_Winter 18 10 AM _  
_Feel free to bring items for the family _____

____

__It was simple, almost informal. I guess that’s how close the town was. Everyone knew him. Except for me. Maybe Elliot. He told me once he moved here a couple of months before I did._ _

__Today was the day. It was still early in the morning - the clouds covered most of it, but I could see the sun slowly rising, occasional rays hitting the farmhouse. I dug through my grandfather’s clothing before finding a black sweater. I had none of my own. After my mother’s funeral, I had tossed out all of my black clothes, hoping that I would never have to attend another funeral. Yet here we were._ _

__I sat at the table with my usual cup of coffee. The cup I had been using daily was worn. The paint was chipping off and the glass was slightly cracked. It was comforting._ _

__The days of silence were suddenly interrupted by soft steps going up the stairs of my patio. I looked up, waiting for a knock. Nothing. The footsteps continued to the front of my door, but no knock followed. I quickly jumped off of my chair, racing for the door and swinging it open._ _

__I crashed into him, wrapping my arms around him and burying myself into his chest. He followed, burying his head into my neck. He didn’t need to say anything. He didn’t even need to knock._ _

__“I’m sorry I didn’t answer your calls,” Sam whispered. He sounded exhausted. Maybe even defeated. His breath against my neck tickled, but I ignored the sensation._ _

__“I know. Don’t worry,” I replied. “Have you eaten yet?”_ _

__“I’m not hungry.” He said, letting go. I opened the door for him, gesturing for him to come in.  
“At least have some soup. I made some a few days ago. You’ll feel warm-”_ _

__“They delivered the ashes today” Sam whimpered. “Said they would do it for us, free of charge. I didn’t even know they did that.”_ _

__I grabbed his hand and led him to the couch. We sat down. It creaked with our weight. He didn’t seem to want to talk about it, just resting his head on mine. The silence welcomed us, seeming to embrace us softly in its touch. I focused on the creases on the arms of the couch. Worn from age, leather slowly decaying into streaks of white. There was a small hole towards the end, with small tuffs of cotton sticking out. I ran my finger over it, dipping it slightly into the hole. It stretched out._ _

__“I don’t want to go today,” Sam continued. “To the funeral. It’s...it’s too much.”_ _

__“I know,” I said. I pushed the cotton back into the hole._ _

__“I have to be there for Vincent, though.” He said. He was in a daze, a slight far away look in his eyes. It took me a while to register that he was talking to himself, thinking out loud. I nodded in response, knowing he wasn’t paying too much attention._ _

__Finally, I heard a stifled sob rise from his chest. He put his hands over his face, resting his elbows on his knees. He sighed heavily, letting out another choked cry. I wrapped my arms around him, holding him as tightly as I could._ _

__“I’m so sorry, Sam,” I whispered, rubbing his back as I watched his tears creep down his arms. “I am really sorry.”_ _

__He nodded, sniffling every other second. He looked up at me, wiping his tears. His eyes were a vibrant bloodshot color, still slightly dazed from misbelief. His cheeks were a dusty pink, stained from tears and utter shock. He appeared so...fragile. I was afraid to hold him too hard. To touch him in the wrong place._ _

__“Is it going to hurt this bad forever?” He asked softly, each word heavier than the last. My heart broke at the question. Memories of my mother flooded my head, the pain seeping through my blood. The familiar pain of missing her never left. I couldn’t say that to him. Not right now._ _

__“It’ll lessen,” I replied, wiping his face. “It will.”_ _

__

__~_ _

__Lewis made a small comment to Sam and I about the weather as we entered the town. It wasn’t snowing. Thank Yoba. He then gave a sad smile to Sam and hugged him. Sam stood there, frozen. Lewis didn’t seem to mind, excusing himself afterward with a small pat on his shoulder.  
I could see most of the town was here, or heading towards the center. Everyone was dressed in a dark hue; even Emily, who wore a dark blue dress and a black hat._ _

__I didn’t comprehend a word Lewis said. Everything he said felt like a foreign language. Instead of listening, I hyper-focused his figure standing over a casket, reading from a small pamphlet, one he had probably typed up the night before. Though I was a couple of feet away, I could see the changes in expression as he processed the town’s faces. He seemed...exhausted. It seemed like his eyes drooped lower each time he heard someone cry. He kept his eyes glued to the ground in front of him, making it appear as if his eyelids were near shut. It was unbearable. I looked over at Sam, who looked straight ahead. He held Jodi’s hand tightly, squeezing it every couple of seconds. I know he felt my gaze over him. I sighed, turning back to Lewis._ _

__As Lewis wrapped up his final words, the crowd dispersed, all heading to Pierre’s. Gus had put together a dinner for the town. The small room for Yoba believers would be open. We gravitated towards the house, small chatter slowly springing up between the town members. I looked around for Sam and his family. Jodi and Vincent were accompanied by Caroline and Abigail, but no Sam._ _

__I turned around to see him walking in the opposite direction. His steps seemed heavy as he walked quickly towards his house. His head was down. I quickly followed him, slipping past Marnie and Shane._ _

__I shouted his name once. Twice. I opened my mouth a third time before realizing he wouldn’t turn around. He just kept walking. I stopped following him, realizing he wanted to be alone. He slammed the door to his house and turned off the lights._ _

__~_ _

__“Gus sure knows how to make a good stew,” Abigail said, sitting down beside me. “Try it.”_ _

__She takes a spoonful of brown broth and vegetables and holds it out to me. I hesitated, but slowly leaned in and swallowed it. I could taste the saltiness of the broth, but not much else. My senses seemingly collapsed on itself._ _

__“It’s great,” I replied, my voice strained. She looked at me, raising an eyebrow._ _

__“Z, Sam and his family will be okay. They have so much support from the community,” Abigail said in a low tone, trying to avoid attention from others. “It’s going to hurt for a while, but they are going to heal.”_ _

__I didn’t reply, hyper-focusing on the bowl of stew set in front of us. The voices of the townspeople felt louder, ringing in my ear._ _

__“Is there something you aren’t telling me?” Abigail asked softly. She reached over and touched my hand gently. That’s when everything hit me. Memories of my mother, my family falling apart, my grandfather’s death. Being at another funeral, _Sam’s father’s funeral _for fuck’s sake, was overwhelming. I got up and walked towards Abigail’s room, pushing past Robin and her family on the way. Abigail quickly followed.___ _

____She shut the door behind her, turning the lock on the door. I sat on her bed, now realizing tears were streaming down my face. I wiped them away, seeing specks of mascara that stained my fingers. My eyes burned._ _ _ _

____I told her everything. The way my mother died. What happened to my father. The reason I’m in Stardew Valley. Everything with Sam. She silently listened, nodding her head occasionally. I let everything spill out of me quickly, holding so much in my system. Words trickled down my throat and into a puddle of guilt and self-remorse._ _ _ _

____“I...I didn’t know,” Abigail said softly, grabbing my hand. “I’m so sorry about everything. That sucks.”_ _ _ _

____When my mother and grandfather died, it was just me, my sister, and my father. Every day I would check the mail, receiving notes filled with condolences or old photos of them. One of the most common phrases being like “Sending you light” or “We’ll cherish the memories”. Bullshit saying you find in the card section of the dollar store. Never has anyone told me “that sucks.” For some reason, I found it comforting. I looked at Abigail, who watched me carefully. I smiled at her, grabbing her hand and squeezing it._ _ _ _

____“It really does fucking suck.”_ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for your sweet comments and encouragements! i love you all


	14. Warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys i am SO sorry i disappeared. so many things happened. first, i went back to college. second, i honestly didn't know if i wanted to continue this because i am in the middle of a sexuality crisis (i thought i was a lesbian...but boy...) so i figured as a compromise i would sprinkle some gay into this. THIS IS STILL ABOUT SAM!! We will get back to him soon. he needs some time to cope. you guys are so sweet for constantly asking me to continue. i feel so happy when i write. ill be back for more shortly

Winter was slow. Money was tight again, as no plant could survive the dry, icy environment of the valley. Much of my time was on my hands in knees, digging through the ground in search of hidden snow yams to mash for meals. I was getting sick of the starchy, bitter taste, and it’s dirt smell. 

After the funeral, I hadn’t heard much from Sam. He stopped calling and stopping by. I didn’t even see him around at JojaMart. I attempted to ask Shane, but felt too self-conscious, running out of the store before he could see me. 

I wanted to understand. I really did. His dad died, for fuck’s sake. How could I be this selfish? Every night I could see his pained, gruesome face as he stood outside my porch that day. The way his sob came out as a deep croak, echoing through the hollow trees of the farm. 

Meanwhile, in the present, it was just me. Sitting in the vastness of my empty home. Robin had fixed up the heater, bringing in a satisfying warmth through the living room. Abigail would swing by once a week to drink and watch whatever was on the television with me, often bringing me various leftovers that Caroline had cooked. I didn’t have to say anything: anyone could see the veins poking out of my skin, my face thinner and paler. 

“I’m bored,” Abigail said, finishing the last of her chips. We had watched four consecutive episodes of The Queen of Sauce, each one a different holiday dish. “Wanna get something to drink?”

“Yeah, totally,” I said. I winced at the thought of spending a few coins on a beer, but I think I needed it. Plus, I had bundled a surplus of crocuses the evening before, providing me with a small amount of pocket change for now.

We walked into the town at dusk, surveying the softness of it all. Winter was Abigail’s second favorite season (next to fall, of course), as she always enjoyed the weather. An unpopular opinion, to say the least.

“I can’t wait until it snows again,” She sighed, kicking at a pile of snow.

“Why? We have way more than enough here,” I chuckled. “If it snows any more I won’t be able to get to town.”

“I think you could manage,” She said in a dreamy tone. She was always in a trance, it seemed, drifting from one thought to another. “Do you think Seb will be at the Saloon tonight?”

“It’s Friday. He could be.” I answered. We were approaching the golden-lit Saloon. I could feel it’s warmth radiating through its wooden doors. I swung it open, stepping inside and removing my coat. Gus called out a greeting before disappearing into the kitchen. It smelled of garlic and thyme. Sure enough, Sebastian was there. He sat next to Maru and Leah, nursing a warm drink. Abigail immediately plopped herself down beside him, once again lost in a trance. Leah and Maru looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to join them. I slid into the seat beside them, feeling the wooden bench creak sightly. Leah smiled, a warm glow in her eye. Her cheeks were a light pink from the cold, matching her plump lips.

“Haven’t seen you around much,” She said, taking a sip of wine. “It can’t be that busy on the farm right now,”

I chuckled nervously. “You’d be surprised.”

I looked up to see Emily bounce her way over, pen and paper in hand. She wore bright red earmuffs and I wondered how she could hear the movement of the tavern in them.

“Hey, guys! Anything I can get for you?” She beamed. 

Before I open my mouth, Leah spoke. 

“A mulled cider for me, and one for Zalia.” She smiled. 

“You don’t have to,” I said, watching Emily take Abigail’s order. I felt Leah’s eyes on me, but I couldn’t look at her. She ignored me, launching into a story about her latest art installation in Zuzu City. The whole table leaned in, listening intently. 

Leah had a certain energy about her. She was popular, for sure, but for more than just her extroverted personality. She was beautiful. Her long red hair was always braided past her shoulder. She wore the lightest amount of makeup, accentuating her bright blue eyes and freckles. She was also just _cool _. Everything about her was so interesting. I’ve only had small conversations with her in passing and in festivals, but I had never noticed the way her hands dance around when she is talking, or the way she giggles when she shares an embarrassing anecdote.__

__As the night passed by, I let her buy me more drinks, slowly warming up to her presence. She asked me more about the farm, what plants I like to grow, what my favorite season was. I asked her about her art, her favorite medium, what art shows she was interested in. Her words slurred into mush in my brain, but I pretended I knew what she meant. Something about something in the city._ _

__“So, have you had any luck with the people in town?” She smirked, finishing the last of her drink. Her words echoed in my head, I could feel the flirty undertone beneath it. I inched closer, leaning in slightly._ _

__“Not much,” I lied. Sam crossed my mind, followed by a pang of guilt. I had to remind myself that he didn’t like me. He didn’t need me. I placed my hand next to hers on the table. “You?”  
“I’ve dabbled here and there,” She said, motioning over to Emily. I looked at her, wide-eyed. _ _

__“Emily is the last person I would see you with,” I giggled. She laced her fingers with mine, dragging them under the table. I felt tingly._ _

__“Yeah, well. She has good weed.” She laughed. I looked around once more. Sebastian and Abigail had traveled to the arcade, playing some multiplayer game. Where did Maru go? “I heard that you were seeing someone, though,”_ _

__I winced. I forgot how small the town was. I looked at her directly. She still had a slight smirk, but I could sense a bit of hesitation. I rolled my eyes and giggled._ _

__“Barely,” I said. “It’s over now, I think.”_ _

__Fuck. Why would I say that? Was it really over?_ _

__“That’s good to know,” Leah said, winking. I felt my cheeks warm, but the pang of guilt shifted into something deeper. My chest began to hurt. I tore from her gaze and tried to make eye contact with Abigail. I shouldn’t be here. I needed to leave. Abigail looked over, mouthing “you okay?”_ _

__“I-I need to use the restroom,” I stuttered, getting up. “I’m sorry,”_ _

__Her face was expressionless, hard to read. I felt my chest shrinking within my own body. I walked towards the restroom, concentrating on my steps. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Abigail, to my relief._ _

__“Do you want to go home? I can walk you, or you can spend the night.” She said, grabbing onto my hand. I looked behind her to see Sebastian watching closely._ _

__“Yeah, I think that’ll be great,” I uttered, grabbing onto my chest. She whispered something to Sebastian before heading out._ _

__Leah was already standing up by the time we walked over. She held both of our coats in her arms. I thought she would be annoyed, but there was still a soft glimmer in her eye as she helped me put it on._ _

__“You heading out too?” Abigail asked her. Leah nodded. The three of us walked out of the saloon to be welcomed by light snow._ _

__“To be honest, I’m quite drunk, so yes.” Leah chuckled, putting her coat on. It was a light mauve, tufts of white fur around the collar. She looked almost angelic in the snow-lit night, the coat complementing the blush of her face. I turned to her, watching how she slowly buttoned up each little button. Her braid was slowly loosening, little bits sticking out here and there. She looked up at me, looking up and down like she isn’t recognizing who I am. I guess my expression is harder to read in the dark. Maybe the paleness of the snow accentuated my worn-out face - the alcohol and the hunger was slowly catching up to the bags under my eyes. Everything was numb._ _

__I pushed myself against Leah’s body, smashing my face against hers. I tilted my lips to hers, kissing her intensely. She moved her hands to the back of my neck, pulling me closer. I felt like I was falling over, even though she held me tightly and I could still feel my feet planted on the ground. She bit my lip lightly and I suddenly woke up. I pulled away in alert, staring at her wide-eyed._ _

__“I’m sorry-” She said, covering her mouth._ _

__“It’s okay, I’m-” I started. I cleared my throat, looking over to Abigail. She stood a few yards away, smoking a cigarette. “I have to go home.”_ _

__“Zalia, wait.” She said, grabbing my arm. She pulled me back and leaned in, kissing me once more. This time, it was soft._ _

__All I could see behind closed eyes were strands of blonde hair paired with ocean blue eyes. A warm, radiating smile like a summer day. I missed him._ _


	15. Dinner Date

The first weed of Spring had finally sprouted. It wasn’t anything special - just a standard dandelion. Despite the fact it was still chilly, the stem was strong and sturdy, the color of the flower was bright. It gave me hope for a good season. 

I rolled up my sleeves and began to dig. The earth was cold against my palms, lightly iced from the moisture in the air. I had been delaying planting the bundle of seeds Pierre had sold me the week before. Maybe out of sheer laziness, maybe because I wasn’t ready for the new year. Whatever it was, I wasn’t able to roll out of bed for a whole week. 

“Maybe you’re sick,” Abigail suggested, wiping her face with a towel. She had offered to come to help out, perhaps out of pity.

“I don’t know,” I dug a small hole with my fingers, dropping a few seeds in it. “I feel fine,”

“It’s the whole season of eating those god-damn snow yams,” She teased. “I don’t know how you even liked the taste.”

“I didn’t.” 

Dig. Hole. Seed. Repeat. 

“So,” She huffed, taking off her gloves. “How’s Leah?”

“I don’t know. How is she?” I retorted. Abigail glared at me through her bangs. 

She had called the morning after that night apologizing profusely. I spent a few minutes reassuring her everything was fine, we were just a little tipsy, I wasn’t mad.

“You’re just...” She sighed on the phone. “You’re just _so cute _, Zalia.”__

__My breath hitched. I knew she could hear its absence, caught somewhere between the phone’s spiral cord._ _

__She had laughed. Lightly, almost like a fall breeze. “Anyways, when can we have dinner?”_ _

__I know Abigail suspected as such. It’s hard to lie. Especially to her, with her vibrant energy and a glare that could cut a loaf of bread._ _

__“We’re getting dinner tomorrow, I think,” I said. Abigail smirked._ _

__“Where? If someone sees you at the saloon, the-”_ _

__“Zuzu City. Definitely not here.” I interrupted. Being the talk of the town was not what I wanted. Definitely not what Leah wants. She had suggested a restaurant right near the city, one with a visible skyline that would leave me breathless._ _

__A silence filled the air. I resumed my routine. Dig. Hole. Seed. Repeat. I felt the question coming up my throat, a hiccup I tried to stop. Yet, I head the words tumble out._ _

__“Have you heard from Sam?”_ _

__Abigail looked at me, eyes filled with pity. I wondered in that moment if she would lie to me._ _

__“No.” She said. She paused for a moment, hesitant about my reaction. I remained emotionless, hyper-focused on the seeds. Dig._ _

__“Sebastian went over the other day.”_ _

__Hole._ _

__“He said that everyone seemed normal. Sam was playing video games. Said that the family has been traveling between the city and the coast where the family is.”_ _

__Seed. The mention of Sam’s name made me shake. I dropped the whole packet into the hole._ _

__“Jodi says hi,” Abigail said softly._ _

__“To who?” I asked._ _

__“To you, dumbass,” She teased. “She asked Seb how you were doing. He said you’ve been alright. Anyways, let’s eat. My dad made the best stew last night.”_ _

__***_ _

__Leah stood against the bus stop wearing high waisted jeans and a bright green button-up shirt. Her earrings were large wooden ones, shaped like leaves. Her hair was in her signature braid, though it was looser than normal, just like it was at the Saloon. As soon as she saw me, her lips curled into a small smile._ _

__“Hey,” Her voice had a slight drawl to it, the greeting sounding like honey._ _

__“Hey,” I said. I stood by her, unsure of what to do. “When’s the bus coming?”_ _

__“In around five minutes,” She ran her fingers through her braid. “How’s spring harvest comin’ along?”  
We discussed the farm for a few minutes, along with some occasional bullshit I spewed out to make it seem like I hadn’t spent the first week lying in bed, waiting for something that would never come. Waiting for something unknown. My chest began to hurt again; a dull pain that felt almost familiar._ _

__Soon enough, the bright silver bus became visible up the hill. The paint was chipping at its sides, a worn-out ad for a hospital showed a less-than-visible photo of a family smiling. One dad and two daughters._ _

__“Ready to go?” Leah asked, already at the platform. I looked back at the valley. The bus stop wasn’t on a hill by any sort, but I could still see the outline of the town, the trees that accompanied it. I could hear the waves crashing onto the beach, wind whistling through trees. I looked at Leah, who watched me intently._ _

__“Yeah, let’s go.” I smiled warmly, climbing on board._ _

__The bus smelled of stale cigarettes and old leather. The bus driver was a short, older man who gave Leah and me a confused look. No one ever left the valley, I remember Abigail telling me once. There was no reason to._ _

__We sat towards the back and sunk down into our seats. The seats were uncomfortable, as expected. There was no one else on the bus beside us._ _

__“I’ve never been on the bus empty before,” Leah said, staring out the window. The bus let out a puff of smoke before starting up and driving away. We watched the valley disappear between pine trees and a cloudy spring sky._ _

__“When I first came down here it was empty,” I said. “Maybe it was because I got here so late at night.”_ _

__“Why did you come here anyway?” Leah asked, still facing the window. The trees had been replaced with a large meadow, green grass barely shooting out of the ground. I looked at the ground, focusing on the yellow slip-ons I wore. “It couldn’t be just to take over your grandfather’s farm. The city is so magical.”_ _

__“Why aren’t you in the city then?” I said with a slight edge in my voice. She didn’t move, but I swear I saw her shoulders shrink just a bit. I sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s just a long story.”_ _

__“I understand,” She turned to me, flashing a nervous smile. “I ran away from the life I had in the city. From the girl I thought I loved. Once I feel successful enough in my career, I think I’ll go back. I miss it every day.”_ _

__“Who was the girl?” I asked. She nervously popped her fingers, the sound echoing across the empty bus._ _

__“Kel. We were high school sweethearts, that sort of thing. Dated for a couple of years. She pressured me to study business, some shit like that. I hated it. I felt trapped,” She gestured to her earrings. “I started making jewelry, you know, as a way to express myself. The apartment we lived in was small, but I had a small desk to carve wood. One day I came home to see Kel had sold all of the shit I made, even some of my knives. I left the next morning, not saying anything. I took the bus to the last stop and made a home here.”_ _

__“That sounds painful,” I said. The bus came to a halt, letting a few people on. An older couple along with a man in his 40s. “You must have felt trapped.”_ _

__“Yeah. As soon as I got to the valley, I started working on my sculptures. Occasionally Pierre will ship over some art supplies for me. I’ve made better money here, especially now that I’ve paid off my schooling.” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear._ _

__“It’s kind of the opposite for me,” I laughed. “I’ve made shit since I’ve gotten to the Valley. I had a job that I just started. Secretary for Joja.”_ _

__“Ew, Joja?” She snickered, playfully rolling her eyes._ _

__“I know! I know,” I giggled. “I lived near the headquarters. It was easiest. Anyways, farming is unpredictable. It isn’t promising.”_ _

__“So it’s even more obvious to me now you didn’t come all the way to the valley just to farm,” Leah said, her done low. She had sunk her teeth in, I knew she wanted to know more. As many times as she wanted to ask me, I wouldn’t answer. The only people I had ever told were the doctors at my father’s hospital. And Sam. He had slipped from my grasp, my secrets spilling from his hands like sand. I gave Leah a long look, signaling my hesitance. She nodded, turning back and watching the city swallow us in._ _

__***_ _

__I was expecting a diner of some sort. Something cheesy, greasy, or comforting. This was nothing of the sort. It seemed like an upscale bar, decorated with rustic furniture; wooden benches and string lights. She grabbed my hand and pushed through a long line, reaching the hostess stand._ _

__“Hey Ramona,” She greeted. “Long time no see!”_ _

__The hostess had short curly hair loose around her forehead. Her eyes were like caramel. She was beautiful - exactly someone I would imagine Leah being friends with._ _

__“Leah! What’s up girl?” She grinned. She looked at me, then back at her. “Who is this?”_ _

__Before I could open my mouth, Leah wrapped her arm around me. “This is Zalia. She’s my friend back in the valley.”_ _

__I awkwardly smiled, waving my hand. Ramona beamed, writing something on her clipboard._ _

__“I can sneak you guys in, just give me five minutes,” She winked and disappeared behind a curtain. Leah kept her arm around me, looking around the restaurant._ _

__“Ramona and I go way back,” She said. “Like high school. We were in the same art classes. She’s actually a painter now in her spare time.”_ _

__I nodded. “She’s really pretty.”_ _

__“So are you, silly,” She teased, though I knew there was a different meaning behind her words. Her hand had moved to the small of my back. I could feel it drumming against me lightly. My dress was thin enough that I could feel the callouses on her hands. Something about it made me blush._ _

__Ramona appeared with two menus in her arms. “You guys ready?”_ _

__The inside was even nicer than the outside. Maybe it was the people that made it seem sophisticated. Everyone wore nice, sparkly outfits, lots of sparkly jewelry, and sparkly wine. The atmosphere was bubbly, with lots of chatter and laughter, especially along the bar. The walls were decorated with various amounts of ferns._ _

__I felt out of place._ _

__Leah opened her menu, immediately aiming towards the drink section. I hesitantly opened mine, skimming through the small font. The table next to us was laughing too loud, clinking their glasses and cheering about something incoherent. Everyone here looked like a movie star. Their clothes were extravagant and they wore bright red lipstick, they even slurred their words with a sensual tone. Despite my awkwardness, I felt a sense of familiarity. Though I lived on the outskirts of town growing up, I could recall the scratchy dresses and souped-up hairstyles my sister and I would wear when we went to dinners, the way my mother’s friends left lipstick stains on their wine glasses and only drank bubbly cocktails._ _

__I had forgotten how to live in the city._ _

__The waiter came by and took our drink orders. His black hair was slicked back into a bun, a speck of hair gel clinging to his baby hairs. Leah ordered something in another language, something I couldn’t pronounce._ _

__“White wine for this one. Sauvignon blanc, please,” She said, gesturing towards me. The waiter smiled and walked away._ _

__“I love this place,” She sighed, eyeing plates of food on the tables near us. “My friends and I would go here after art shows, attempting to act like we were one of them.”_ _

__“Them?” I asked. She looked back at me, her eyes sparkling._ _

__“The elite. The city folk. Why do you think I’m in the valley, Z?” She smiled. The waiter came back with our drinks. She thanked him and turned back to me. “It’s someone I could never be.”_ _

__Despite this, she acted as she fit in the whole night. She ordered us a variety of intricate small plates, seasoned with herbs I didn’t even know existed. She drank the cocktails, she sang along to the music playing. No matter where we were, she adapted quickly._ _

__When the check came, she slid her card over. She looked at me, smirking._ _

__“It’s on me,” She said._ _

__“Are you s-“_ _

__She reached over and grabbed my hand, stroking it lightly. Her eyes were slightly glassed over from the drinks_ _

__“Thank you. For coming here with me. I’m glad you’re here,” She said softly. The waiter came by and grabbed the check, giving us a warm smile. I finished my glass of wine quickly._ _

__Leah stopped by Ramona once more, giving her a kiss on the cheek._ _

__“Tell Charlie I said hey,” She called, grabbing my hand and whisking me away._ _

__“I will! Bye guys!”_ _

__We were on the next bus back to the Valley. Leah said something about having an appointment with Harvey early in the morning. The bus was empty, as suspected. She sat at the very back, pulling me into a row._ _

__She leaned in and kissed me deeply. I responded quickly, reaching towards her face and pulling her closer. I accidentally tugged at her earring, causing her to flinch slightly._ _

__“I’m sorry,” I breathe between kisses. She laughed against my cheek and planted light kisses against my neck. My hands suddenly began to shake as I extended my neck for her. I tried to focus on her lips, the sensation, her drunken horniness. I opened my eyes, remembering where we were._ _

__The bus driver didn’t seem to notice. Maybe he did, but he did a good job pretending he didn’t. He kept his eyes on the road, driving into the darkness of the valley. The skyscrapers disappeared beneath a clouded sky. Mountainscapes replaced them, standing tall against the horizon. It was a beautiful sight._ _

__She moved her head back up, giving me one last kiss. She grinned wide. “Sorry. I get horny when I’m drunk.”_ _

__“I see that,” I said. She reached up and ran her fingers through my tangled hair._ _

__The rest of the bus ride was silent. I was too tired, slightly flustered from the sporadic makeout session. I was almost relieved when the bus pulled up to its familiar spot._ _

__Leah and I climbed off, thanking the driver. Now that the sun was gone, the air felt chillier. Leah reached in and hugged me rubbing my back and placing a kiss on my cheek._ _

__“Did you have fun?” She asked like she knew the answer._ _

__“Yeah, this was great. Thank you for everything.” I said, pulling away._ _

__“Of course, Z. I want to keep seeing you.” She said. “I think this could go somewhere.”_ _

__I froze, immediately darting my gaze towards the bus, which had just pulled away. I looked back at her expectant gaze, muddling through my thoughts for a quick response._ _

__Say something, you idiot._ _

__“We’ll...we’ll see,” I said. Leah’s face dropped ever-so-slightly. That definitely wasn’t the answer she was expecting. That wasn’t the answer I was expecting, either. She quickly recomposed, flashing her signature smile._ _

__“Alrighty. Good night, then.” She said. Before I could say anything, she whipped around and headed towards town._ _

__“Good night!” I called out. She didn’t turn back._ _

__I sighed, standing in the dark bus stop. I sat on the bench, looking up the sky. Though I had only gone to the city for a few hours, the absence of the stars was noticeable._ _

__Lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t noticed there was a distinctive smell of tobacco near me. I lifted my head to notice a looming figure standing near me. I quickly jumped up to lock eyes with Sebastian, nursing a cigarette in his hand, watching me intently. He cleared his throat before tossing out the rest of the cigarette._ _

__“Did you not notice me here or something?”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello ive returned. hope u enjoy this long ass chapter! also shout out hana i love you.


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